The Guiltiest Pleasure Of Them All
Everyone from my boss to my 11-year old cousin has a profile on
Facebook or MySpace. It can be a great way to keep in touch
with old friends, share photos from your recent getaway, and in
some instances, find love…or just a date for a family
reunion (both of which I've witnessed). If that were explicitly
what these websites were used for, the world would be a much better
place. But with all that social networking has to offer, our
curiosity usually wins out.
Get started on
MySpace and
Facebook.
Mine is no exception. I know more than I should about
people I barely know. My childhood friend is threatening her
baby daddy to stop cheating on her, my previous hair stylist likes
motorcycles and has a dachshund named Roxi, and my new flame's last
fling is little and blond and totally cute. After spending
way too much time trying to find something that will make me feel a
little better, I only feel more dirty and jealous as I make my way
through profiles of people I've never even met.
If you're going on a first date, know this: You're gonna get
Googled. Personally, I think it's OK to research someone
before sharing a meal with them, as long as you realize that people
often falsely advertise. My ex may have populated his profile
with "facts" about being six feet tall, built like Matthew
McConaughey, and bringing home six figures. Truth is, he's
short, has the body of a 15 year old emo kid and barely makes a
living spinning CDs at Bar Mitvahs. Remember, everything you
read isn't always accurate and don't base your expectations solely
on a web profile.
Here are my rules to stay sane in the world of 'poking' and
'wall to wall' comments:
• Go Private. Your
web persona can easily be misinterpreted by someone you hardly
know. Stay
safe on MySpace and Facebook.
Take advantage of the detailed privacy settings and limit allowance
to people you don't know that well. Besides, a little mystery
in the beginning can be sexy.
• Google New Dates Only.
Once you're established as a dating couple, elect to just
communicate the old-fashioned way. It will save you a lot of
sleepless hours wondering why the blonde bimbo who looks like a
porn star wrote, "last night…no words can say" on your man's
wall. If you feel he's not being honest with you, recruit a
friend to do the cyber stalking for you.
• Add Wisely.
Having 700 friends doesn't make you cool, it makes you
vulnerable. The nice girl you met at the fundraiser last
weekend may be teaming up with your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend
to find out more about you. OK, so maybe that's a little too
Gossip Girl, but you get the idea.
• Don't Be A
"Webitch". Sending your ex a "hotness" request just
to make his new girlfriend jealous is passive aggressive and
lame. Being catty, flirtatious or just plain bitchy online is
just as bad as in real life. Don't play into the game.
• Be True. Don't
let yourself stray too far from your real life values by creating
an entirely different persona online. Would your mother
recognize your profile if it had no pictures or name? If
you're not happy with the real you, the people you meet online
won't be either.
• Stop Snooping. I
know, I know…easier said than done, but trust me: some
things (like how your professor enjoys dressing in women's clothing
in his spare time) are better left unknown.
If you find that temptation is too much and you're
spending more time on Facebook than you do actually talking to
people (and I mean actually talking, not writing on walls or buying
them a digital drink), it's time to bite the bullet and quit
the cyber seductress.
Have you ever come across some information online that you wish
would've been left unknown? Do you have any advice for other
social networkers?
Discuss!
