For All The Wrong Reasons
My mother is a wonderful woman. She's hardworking, patient,
and nurturing. And she's on her third marriage. The
Census Bureau last reported 38% of marriages end in divorce and 75%
of divorcees remarry, usually within three years. What
gives? Is eternal love really that easy to fall in and out
of?
If you believe, like I do, that media has a great influence on our
society, you'll be happy to know Hollywood is where I started my
research. Here's a list of celebs that went to the altar for
probably all the wrong reasons:
• Britney Spears' first marriage to Jason
Alexander lasted 55 hours.
• Drew Barrymore's first marriage to Jeremy
Thomas lasted 30 days.
• Pamela Anderson's third marriage to Kid
Rock lasted 6 months.
• Jennifer Lopez's first marriage to Ojani
Noa lasted 10 months.
Citing "irreconcilable differences" in Hollywood is apparently
as common as another young star going to rehab.
When you walk down the red carpet together, it's easy to take a few
more steps and walk right down the aisle. Maybe it's because
stars don't live in the real world. They live in a fantasy
universe, where shoes are designer, airplanes are private and
getaway means exotic islands. Who wouldn't think they're in
love under those conditions?
As much as we might like to, we can't solely blame celebrities for
the divorce rate. Average Joes and Janes are following suit
and getting hitched with improper motives. My mom's response
to why she married her first two husbands would be something like,
"I was young and stupid" and "I thought I loved him". I want
the real answer.
Let VideoJug help you know
whether your love is the real thing.
I'm at that point in life where I'm beginning to think I'll be
the last one in my group of friends to take the leap. When
talking to my still single friends, some menacing thoughts have
popped in our heads when contemplating marriage. Here are
some of them (I've included the silly ideas we've come up with and
the rationale responsible for us still being single):
Thought: You figure if it doesn't work,
there's always divorce.
Rationale: Divorce is expensive and it takes
a long time. It will age you. Throw a couple kids in
the equation and you'll need years of therapy.
Thought: You think a wedding will turn
your relationship around.
Rationale: The fairy tale wedding only lasts
one day. Newlyweds report happiness levels go right back down
when it's over.
Thought: You're afraid of being old and
alone.
Rationale: I get it. My grandmother,
after two failed marriages, is 72 and alone. I'd like to say
she's happy, but every time I see her, she asks me if any of my
friends have a cute, available grandpa. In the end, though,
you're better off alone than married to someone you settled
for.
There ARE
pros to being single!
At a loss for giving you the right reasons to get married, I did
what any good, red-blooded American would do. I Googled
it. Amidst the porn sites (they seem to pop up no matter what
I search for…I swear!), I found one worthwhile article that
lists the following "good" reasons to tie the knot:
• It's the right time.
• To make a commitment.
• Because you're in love
A little ambiguous if you ask me. It makes me nervous just
thinking about the right time, commitment and falling in
love. Am I cautious or just smarter than the average
twenty-something?
So will my mom or any of us ever get a grip on marriage and turn
those statistics around?
Share your feelings on how you know if
marriage is right. And please don't say, "You'll just
know!"
