Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they
speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they
have, they can walk into a room and instantly be the center of
attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to
emulate them. That's charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires
confidence and adoration. Like beauty, luck, and social position,
charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities,
anyone can become more charismatic.
Steps
- Relax. Charisma is all about channeling your
energy to other people. If you channel stress and anxiety, people
will be repelled. If you channel relaxation and tranquility, people
will be attracted to your calmness, and they'll want to be more
like you.
- Look confident. Charisma isn't the same thing
as confidence, but appearing confident can make you more
charismatic because your confidence will put others at ease and
inspire faith in your abilities.
- Improve your posture. Nothing conveys
confidence like good posture. Stand or sit up straight, but not
rigidly. When you meet someone, give a firm handshake and look the
other person in the eye. Display positive body language while
you're talking to someone and even when you're just waiting around.
Sit facing the person or people you're talking to, uncross your
legs and arms, and keep your hands away from your face. Look at
ease, and don't fidget or convey nervousness.
- Be anyone's equal. No matter to whom you are
talking, treat them as an equal. If you're talking to a potential
employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, or an
attractive guy or girl, for example, don't put them on a pedestal
or talk down to them. Be respectful of other people, of course, but
respect them as equals, and expect that they will accept you as
such.
- Get in touch with your emotions. Research has
shown that people who are generally believed to be charismatic feel
emotions strongly, and they are also able to relate to what others
are feeling. Ironically, in many societies, the suppression of
emotion is considered desirable. Don't be afraid to feel anger,
pain, sadness, or elation, and don't be afraid to communicate your
emotions. Also be aware that there is a difference in suppressing
your emotions and controlling how you express your emotions. It is
this control which is truly desirable. Always be genuine - fake
emotion rarely appeals to anyone.
- Match your body language to your speech.
Perhaps the defining characteristic of charismatic people is the
ability to use body language effectively when communicating.
Gesturing is important, but good gestures aren't arbitrary.
- Watch how other people gesture. Notice how
some speakers' gestures appear fake or out of sync with their
message. These people come off looking shifty or uncertain as a
result. Other speakers use body language exceptionally well. These
are generally the more effective communicators and appear more
trustworthy and competent. These people are often successful
actors, religious leaders, and pundits. Look for good and bad
examples of the use of body language. Pay attention, and
learn.
- Think about your own gestures. When you speak,
does your body language back you up, or do you look ne
