
Charm is the art of having an attractive personality. This
characteristic can only be achieved over a period of time. While
everyone is born with differing amounts of natural charm, much can
be acquired and honed through practice and patience. As with
dancing, the more you practice, the better you will become. Effort
and careful attention to the needs and desires of others will
ensure that charm becomes a permanent part of your character.
Steps
- Improve your posture. Good posture will give
the impression of self confidence (even if you don't feel that way
on the inside). While walking, maintain a relaxed yet definitive
upright posture: spine long, shoulders back, head level with the
ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when you first
practice it, but keep trying
- Relax the muscles in your face to the point
where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved
there. Face the world and show everyone you're not afraid.
- Make a connection. When your eyes come in
contact with another person's, nod and smile subtly with a subdued
joy shining forth. Don't worry about the other person's reaction
and don't overdo it.
- Remember people's names when you meet them for
the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most
people. Repeat the person's name when stating your name to that
person will help you to remember it better. For example: "Hi Jack,
I'm Wendy." Follow through with small talk and repeat the person's
name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. It's not just about
helping you to remember that person. The more you say a person's
name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the
greater the chance they'll warm up to you.
- Be interested in people. If you meet a new
acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a
friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests.
Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them.
Be careful in that subject though you don't want to be nosy. If you
ask too much they will become uncomfortable. Also ask after their
particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much
better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most
people don't like to think about those things at social occasions
unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should
understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It
is important to refrain from talking up about yourself. Be purely
interested and impressed by the person with whom you are
speaking.
- Orient topics toward the audience. This means
taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if
you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk
about last night's game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you
are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make
remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies,
etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of
interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an
interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others
do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about
the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited
but that you are hoping to learn more about it.
- Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are
talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and
up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative
way, be the one to mention something you like about that
person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm
because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added
benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you
never have a ba