The death of a beloved pet affects the family in a way which is
shared almost universally. For children, the death of a pet may be
their first experience in confronting the death of a loved one, in
particular, and mortality in general. Like adults, children find
reassurance in the enacting of communal rituals, and therefore pet
funerals are as common as they are healthy. Services for small pets
like fish or gerbils can be conducted at home with little fuss.
Steps
- Allow the child to select an appropriate "coffin" for the
deceased pet. This may range from a matchbox to a cigar box to a
shoe box. In some cases, a pretty and appropriate bag or piece of
material might also serve to wrap up the deceased.
- Have family members gather together somberly, with the child
who assumed primary responsibility for the pet assuming the role of
minister.
- Say a eulogy praising the pet's qualities. Members of the
family may also share significant personal memories of the pet at
this time.
- Offer some sort of prayer.
- Bury the pet's coffin in a flower bed or restful area of the
backyard.
Tips
- Allow your child to design the service as much as possible, You
may be surprised at your child's sensitivity and emotion.
- Do not buy your child a another pet immediately. Everyone needs
time to mourn.
- Even single adults can find solace in a pet funeral. Don't let
your friends or relatives make you feel bad because you treat your
animal companions with respect and mourn their passing!
Warnings
- Parents use good judgment: if some older siblings are too
"cool" to take a pet funeral seriously, do not force them to
participate as their demeanor may negatively impact the children
mourning.
- It's a good idea to remember where these pets have ended up
buried so that you will not inadvertently disturb their remains. No
one wants to find the skeleton of a guinea pig when he or she is
planting tulip bulbs!
