How to Have a Long Term Relationship
Take your time, there is plenty of it as far as good relationships are concerned!
Steps
- Begin by simply being friends with the person you are seeking a relationship with. This stage is vital as it allows you to learn more about your partner, as well as confirm/deny your feelings towards a relationship with them.
- Going off the basis that a good long term relationship is based around love, we can look into how love is defined. Dr. Sternberg (a psychologist who studied love) put forth an article speaking of the different aspects of love. In short, there are three vital components that make up true love (or consummate love). These components are Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. The intimacy portion of love is that of friends; You enjoy spending time together, and have grown rather close strictly within the realms of "personality attraction." The passion aspect can attribute to many relationship losses. Although physical attraction is necessary in a relationship, this feeling does not need to be acted upon without full fulfillment of the intimacy aspect. If you rush head-first into passion without considering the needs of a very close friend, somebody is going to end up hurt. The final, and equally important, aspect is that of Commitment. There are two forms of commitment, short-term and long-term. Short-term commitment is the thought of simply saying "I am willing to love this person" this may not involve a necessary long term commitment, but it is the initial choice that one makes before entering the relationship. The long-term aspect (and the one we're discussing) is the choice to remain with said person for an extended portion of time. When all three aspects are fulfilled, consummate love is attained.
- Now that you fully understand what love is, you can make your own assumptions as to what you need to do. While every aspect does not need to be instantly attained (IE. some portions may come later in the relationship) usually all need to be present in order to maintain a healthy long term relationship.
Tips
- Communication can be the key. Although early on there may be nervous apprehension, this is all part of the game. In time though, you may need to be fully frank with someone and let them know how you feel.
- Remember to TAKE IT SLOW! A long-term relationship is something to work towards, it is not just given to you. Just make sure that neither you, nor your partner is uncomfortable with any aspect of the relationship you are in and you'll be fine.
