"I am the one I have been looking for." -Iyanla Vanzant
We spend so much of our time waiting to be loved, hoping love
will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling
empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill
us up. Unfortunately, that's not usually how life works. You will
draw to you exactly what you create in life, and what you believe
you are worthy of. So loving yourself can create love in your
life.
Steps
- Take a realistic evaluation of yourself. Be honest with
yourself about how valuable you believe you are as a person. The
way you see yourself and treat yourself is the very way others will
see you and treat you. Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy of
the gift of love? More importantly, do you treat yourself lovingly
and as a valuable being? It's ok to be truthful with yourself, it
may not be pretty! Awareness is the first and more powerful step on
the path to change!
- Forgive yourself if you ever believe you aren't worthy of love.
After all, there were probably things in your childhood or previous
years that created that belief for you. It simply isn't true; every
being on this planet is worthy of love, after all, love is what we
are here for, it's what it's all about. Say to yourself now; "I
forgive myself for believing that I was not worthy of love." Go
look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself, look yourself
right in the eyes and say it like you mean it. Go on, I'll
wait.
- Post this affirmation up someplace where you will see it each
and every day; "I have the courage to believe that I am worthy of
love." Read it out loud, every day, at least once, ideally at least
ten times each time you notice it. Sticky notes are fabulous for
affirmations.
- Take action and make those words real. Begin loving and valuing
yourself. It is said that you cannot give away what you do not
have. So, if you are not able to love and accept yourself
unconditionally, how in the world are you going to love and accept
anyone else unconditionally? Much less accept that love in return
from them?
- Remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice! Make the
choice to love yourself. After all, who deserves it more? The more
loving you are to yourself, the more loving you will be able to be
to everyone around you. Family and friends will especially benefit
from this. Make a choice to come from a place of love for yourself
and for everyone who is important in your life.
- Think about what you need to fill that emptiness inside, that
place that is longing for love. What specifically do you need? Find
the answer and then give it to yourself. No one is more capable of
loving you, and giving you exactly what you need than you are! When
you learn how to fulfill yourself in that way, you stop searching
for it outside of yourself and you suddenly begin attracting it to
you! You change yourself from a sponge to a magnet! People see you
radiating self love and they are drawn to you!
- Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad.
When you write down your good experiences allow yourself to feel
those good feelings again. When you remember the bad experiences,
allow yourself to feel pride. Pride because you faced a challenge
in your life and you are here today to write about it, which must
mean you are a survivor and a fighter. Tell yourself, "I know pain,
but I've yet to be introduced to surrender." Keep on keeping
on
Tips
- Here's something to try saying every day. Place it on your
mirror. It always helps: "Look in the mirror and what do I see? A
beautiful person staring back at me Oh wow! I thought, who
could that be?, [smile and say]
