How To Not Worry

You can't help it; you're a worrywart.  You worry about everything and nothing; you can't sleep at night, and you can't get up in the morning; you foresee every negative possible outcome without being able to see the positive possibilities as well.  Think you can't do anything about it?   Think again.

Step 1:  Shut Out The Noise

Try to quiet your mind so that you can start to identify what you're really worried about.  Question your feelings.  Dig deep to figure out what's bothering you.  Focus. 

If you have trouble with this exercise, you might want to try to improve your concentration and get in touch with your inner thoughts through meditation or yoga.

If, after doing this exercise, you are unable to determine what's causing your anxiety, you might want to consider consulting a professional to make sure that you don't have an anxiety disorder.

Step 2:  Can You Or Can't You?

Once you home in on what it is that's worrying you, figure out if it's something you can change, or if it's something you can't.  If you realize that you are worried about something that you cannot change, then you should also realize that you are wasting valuable energy and time that you can put towards accepting the situation or reframing It in a way that you can change it.  Consider distracting yourself from worrying about things you can't change by learning a new skill, like flower arranging or gardening.

Or try dedicating your time to helping others, or, if you have children, getting more involved in their education and extracurricular activities.

And if you really want to do something about the world's problems, think about what small things you can do to make big changes.

Step 3:  Face Your Fears

Yes, there are things you can't change, but there are things you can, and if the things that are worrying you are things you can change, start changing them now!  Sure, it can be scary, but to quiet the worry in your head, it's worth facing your fears and taking some challenges head-on.  Be strict with yourself.  Come up with a list of three things you can do to change the situation that's bothering you, and set a timeline for yourself to achieve them.  Don't forget to ask for help if you get stuck; the important thing is to keep moving forward. 

Still not sure what to do?  Most people worry about their jobs, their relationships, and money.  Chances are good your main worry will fall into one or more of those categories.  The good news is that there is so much information available about these topics that you shouldn't have any problem finding inspiration and ideas for how to change.

Worried that you're never going to be good at your job?  Maybe it's time to find a better career choice.

Worried that someone you love is addicted to drugs or alcohol?  Find out how to help and when you need to help yourself.

Worried that you'll spend your life alone?  Start taking positive steps to meet new people.

Worried about money?  Learn to live within your means and how to invest for your future?

Maybe you have other concerns, but the method of handling them is the same.  Get some information, figure out positive steps you can make to turn your situation around, and then set goals and deadlines for yourself so that you don't lose momentum.  As you make these positive changes, you should find yourself worrying less and less.

Step 4:  Out In The Open

Sometimes, just talking about your worries helps you push them out of your head.  Naming your fear can be powerful, and once you say something out loud, it loses some of its hold on you.  Also, talking things out can give you a new perspective on an old problem; as you're explaining what's going on with you, you may see a different way of dealing with your issue.  Or, your confidant may have a response that gives you a different outlook.  If nothing else, sharing your anxiety can help you solidify your support system, and make you feel less alone.  Look to old friends, or make new ones; someone who doesn't know your history quite as well might come up with ideas for you that are completely different and exciting.

If you're uncomfortable talking about your problems with a friend, it may be a good idea for you to invest in a few sessions with a professional.  Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, life coaches, and others, can help you handle your anxiety and get back on track.

Step 5:    Take Care Of Yourself

It's simple: the better you feel, the less you worry.  Prevent excessive worry by taking care of yourself.  Eat well, exercise regularly, engage in activities that build your self-esteem, see your doctor regularly, resolve conflicts, learn to listen.  Whatever you can do to keep fit, stay healthy, and increase your serenity can go a long way to keeping worry at bay.  It's always better to prevent yourself from worrying than it is to have to stop yourself from worrying once it starts.