How to Understand Love as a Chemical Reaction
Love, as much as we hate to admit it, doesn't come from the heart. It isn't magic, and there isn't "one person out there for us". The fact of the matter is that love is a chemical reaction within our brains, despite how unromantic that sounds.
Steps
- Understand the subconscious causes of "love" concerning the immune system. As humans, we benefit by having a diverse genepool. If this wasn't true, one disease could wipe us all out. Therefore, we developed a way to tell each other's immune systems apart by the use of pheromones. These are scents that make us decide subconsciously if we are sexually interested in a person. While a guy may smell great to you, he might disgust your best friend. So, if you enjoy a man's smell, theres a good chance your immune systems operate slightly differently, and you may even have different blood types.
- Understand the subconscious causes of "love" concerning physical attributes. Believe it or not, this is the clincher on whether or not we decide if this person is suitable to us. Now, to comprehend this section, we have to know that in essence humans are not really that different from any other animal subconsciously. I'll start on the girl's perspective. If a guy has big muscles, you think he's good looking. What you don't know is that you're actually interested in how well he can protect your children. Surprising? A tall man can exert power over other males, which is a plus as well. Eye color makes also makes a difference. Blue eyes mean that his iris is a "clean slate", and a clean slate means that whatever the trait is concerning, the other trait will pass more readily to a child. Also, memory is a more important factor when a female chooses a mate. After all, if a man looks good but grunts whenever you ask him to do something for you, he isn't that good for you. Now from the guy's perspective. If a girl has large breasts, it means that she can nurse children more effectively, and therefore, would make a better mate. Large buttocks and hips make childbirth easier and gives a higher success rate. Women also dress their best when they are at peak levels of fertility.
- Understand what the function of the brain is concerning "love". When you seem to have found a perspective mate, neurotransmitters are sent throughout your brain to emotionally link you to that person. Ever miss your boyfriend/ girlfriend to the point of heartache? This is the cause of it. Dopamine is the principle chemical used, and gives us strong sexual urges over time. Romantic love is not an emotion, but rather, a motivation system, or a reward drive, to get you to stick with that person. While this is going on, we have a decrease in serotonin, which if elevated, leads to feelings of obsession.
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Understand things that can have an effect on the emotion "love". If a man is not interested in having a baby with a specific woman (at a specific time), his oxytoxin and testosterone increase. This is because the body is trying to ensure that his genes are passed on, and encourages him to cheat. This also occurs when a woman does not see a man as a person suitable for a long term relationship, or is not fully interested in one herself. The two previously mentioned neurotransmitters are also what cause love to fade. After all, if you've done your job, had sex/raised a child, there isn't any more need for that emotion.
Tips
- Look for articles scattered around the internet concerning love, the brain, and neurotransmitters. Your comprehension will undoubtedly increase.
- Take this with a grain of salt. Love is an amazing thing. Don't let a scientific explanation spoil your love of love--Who cares if it's "all in your head?"
