Love, as much as we hate to admit it, doesn't come from the
heart. It isn't magic, and there isn't "one person out there for
us". The fact of the matter is that love is a chemical reaction
within our brains, despite how unromantic that sounds.
Steps
- Understand the subconscious causes of "love" concerning the
immune system. As humans, we benefit by having a diverse genepool.
If this wasn't true, one disease could wipe us all out. Therefore,
we developed a way to tell each other's immune systems apart by the
use of pheromones. These are scents that make us decide
subconsciously if we are sexually interested in a person. While a
guy may smell great to you, he might disgust your best friend. So,
if you enjoy a man's smell, there's a good chance your immune
systems operate slightly differently, and you may even have
different blood types.
- Understand the subconscious causes of "love" concerning
physical attributes. Believe it or not, this is the clincher on
whether or not we decide if this person is suitable to us. Now, to
comprehend this section, we have to know that in essence humans are
not really that different from any other animal subconsciously.
I'll start on the girl's perspective. If a guy has big muscles, you
think he's good looking. What you don't know is that you're
actually interested in how well he can protect your children.
Surprising? A tall man can exert power over other males, which is a
plus as well. Eye color makes also makes a difference. Blue eyes
mean that his iris is a "clean slate", and a clean slate means that
whatever the trait is concerning, the other trait will pass more
readily to a child. Also, memory is a more important factor when a
female chooses a mate. After all, if a man looks good but grunts
whenever you ask him to do something for you, he isn't that good
for you. Now from the guy's perspective. If a girl has large
breasts, it means that she can nurse children more effectively, and
therefore, would make a better mate. Large buttocks and hips make
childbirth easier and gives a higher success rate. Women also dress
their best when they are at peak levels of fertility.
- Understand what the function of the brain is concerning "love".
When you seem to have found a perspective mate, neurotransmitters
are sent throughout your brain to emotionally link you to that
person. Ever miss your boyfriend/ girlfriend to the point of
heartache? This is the cause of it. Dopamine is the principle
chemical used, and gives us strong sexual urges over time. Romantic
love is not an emotion, but rather, a motivation system, or a
reward drive, to get you to stick with that person. While this is
going on, we have a decrease in serotonin, which if elevated, leads
to feelings of obsession.
-
Understand things that can have an effect on the emotion "love".
If a man is not interested in having a baby with a specific woman
(at a specific time), his oxytoxin and testosterone increase. This
is because the body is trying to ensure that his genes are passed
on, and encourages him to cheat. This also occurs when a woman does
not see a man as a person suitable for a long term relationship, or
is not fully interested in one herself. The two previously
mentioned neurotransmitters are also what cause love to fade. After
all, if you've done your job, had sex/raised a child, there isn't
any more need for that emotion.
Tips
- Look for articles scattered around the internet concerning
love, the brain, and neurotransmitters. Your comprehension will
undoubtedly increase.
- Take this with a grain of salt. Love is an amazing thing. Don't
let a scientific explanation spoil your love of love--Who cares if
it's "all in your head?"
