What do 'intensity' and 'duration' have to do with grief?
Intensity and duration are key factors when dealing with your grief. For instance, if you have sadness, of course that's unexpected. It may be sadness that you can't go on, which is very expected. You may have anger that your loved one died, which is very normal. You may have feelings like, "I don't even want to live anymore, I just want to give this up and join my loved one in death". Once again, that is normal. People sometimes even have physical manifestations. They may have the same pain that their loved one had. Obviously, get everything checked up by a doctor if you feel like anything is physically going wrong. However, when we look at these things that people feel, we ask what the intensity is and what the duration is. If you just feel something for a moment and it is a pleading thought, that's fine. That happens in grief. If there is an intensity that you cannot handle, that's something you should seek help for. Think about intensity and duration. We also often think about loved one's objects, let's say perhaps you've lost a child, which is unbelievably gut wretching and difficult, and you have their room intact for a while. Look again at intensity and duration. A week to have your child's room intact is normal - a month is very normal. If it's five years or ten years, there may be something deeper to be handled. Think about the intensity and duration of your feelings and the circumstances that you are encountering.
