What is the 'winder-upper'?

What is the 'winder-upper'?

Mike Fisher (Founder - British Association of Anger Management) gives expert video advice on: Are there different styles of anger?; What is the 'intimidator'?; What is the 'interrogator'? and more...

The winder-upper is a very interesting character. The winder-upper gets everybody else to express their unexpressed anger. So the winder-upper is not an individual that you would usually see as getting angry. You won't see them getting wound up, but you will see that what they will do is make humorous, undermining, patronizing comments to wind other people up. If they can get the other person wound up and the other person expresses their unexpressed anger, they don't need to express their own anger. The interesting thing is that the winder-upper doesn't even know that they are angry because the behavior is essentially passive aggressive. The idea is when somebody is winding you up you recognize that you are getting angry. It is very important to remind the winder-upper that they are winding me up as a way of getting me to express their unexpressed anger. Eventually, it gets through to the winder-upper.