What was your lowest point with BDD?
It just got to the point where I was I can't do this anymore. As scary as suicide was, it was such an easier solution than what I was going through. I remember completely being by myself. I had seen a movie a couple days earlier of plugging the exhaust pipe and locking yourself in your garage. I remember driving my car into the garage, I remember plugging any holes, I remember plugging the exhaust and I just sat in my car. I kept running from my car to the mirror. I kept looking in the mirror and I just kept seeing this acne that would not go away. Do you want do this anymore? Do you really want to do this anymore, Chris? Because this is going to be your entire life. You're ugly for your entire life. You're going to have horrible skin for your entire life. Why?I had pushed everybody away. I had no friends, no family to support me. I really felt alone. My BDD was so strong that it completely won. I got in my car and I ran the car. I just remember sitting there listening to music and just being done. Really not caring about anything but death. Wanting to kill myself. I remember getting really light headed, really gassy, not really knowing where I was, almost kind of drugged. Looking in the mirror, and for the first time I felt happy. I felt like this is what I needed to do. Relief. No more stress, no more pain, no more drama. Everything was so much.
