You were ambushed whilst in Iraq, what went through your head when this happened?
An ambush is designed to kill everybody. And it seems very unnatural, because all you want to do is crawl into the foot well of the vehicle, when actually what you've got to do is actually sit there and start shooting back at people. And just pray to God that the person driving doesn't get shot and killed so that he can keep driving. And everyone else around you is going to be shooting and putting down as much effective fire as possible. And you just pray to God that a) you get out of there alive, and b) probably more importantly, the whole team gets out of there. Because what happened was this - initially there was only six of us that got out. It was terrible. You go from this feeling of complete elation that you've just survived something so incredibly dangerous, and you have no idea how you've all managed to survive it. And then you have this gut wrenching feeling where you realize that you haven't all survived it, and two are still left behind. And it's like, oh my goodness, you know. And then you think, well we're going to have to go back and get them. Because you think, there's no way I can physically look their family in the eyes and say to them with my hand on my heart, "I did everything I could." Even though you know that going back is suicidal and that they probably wouldn't expect you to go back, because they'd know it was suicidal. You still know in your heart of hearts, you have to look them in the face and say, "I'm sorry. I didn't do everything I could. I could've given my own life and tried to rescue them." And that's exactly what we were all going to do in the end, crucially and ultimately. But then we didn't need to, because they came driving out stuck in second gear with their lights off looking rather startled!
