As someone dealing with BDD, did you ever feel comfortable in high school?
No. I felt squirmy in high school. And it was so hard, because I would have girls interested in me. I'd have people tell me I was cute. I'd have people approach me and be like, "You should model," and stuff. And that would make it worse, because then it was like, "They don't understand. They don't know what I'd look like at my best, if my skin was perfect." I still had hair concerns. Like if my hair was messed up, I'd be in the bathroom getting some water on my hands and kind of spiking it up again. I remember skipping a period and sitting in the bathroom stall the whole period because I didn't feel right and felt uncomfortable, and felt gross. I just was never comfortable. I remember being into a girl that I was going to ask to prom. I remember we had an assembly outside at the football stadium, and it was very cloudy light. And in my head, because it was very cloudy, there was no bright light to brighten up my face, so I felt like my face was really dark and the acne was more obvious. So I'm sitting here trying to talk to this girl and I'm so uncomfortable. And it wasn't because I was nervous or anything like that. It was just absolutely like, "I don't want her to see my skin, I don't want her to know what I really look like." So the entire conversation I'm fidgety and uncomfortable, and that was how it was throughout all of high school.
