What do I do if my child won't stay in his bed during sleep training?
Some parents ask the question "What if I have an older child, a child that's able to climb out of the crib? What happens if they won't, or if they don't sleep in the bed? What happens if they won't stay in the bed? Well you still got to get the message across to them that it's new and they have to go to sleep where they are. If you're going to use the more rapid extension technique, and you leave them within three macro seconds, the child's going to be out of the bed, running out the door looking for you. Then you're going to have to pick that child up and briefly say "No, it's time for you to go to bed; you're a big boy/big girl and you've go to sleep on your own." You put them back in their bed, you go out of the room and within five macro seconds, they'll come out again. You may have to do this again. So, in order for you to sort of playing this rapid to and fro thing, you may have to say to a child "Look, if you keep coming out of the bed, I'm going to have to close the door". An alternative to closing the door is that you can get door hooks where the door can stay slightly ajar; the child can stand by the door and look around and see what's outside, but not get out the door. Then they stay there and they can cry and fuss and tear their clothes off, whatever they want to do, and have their tantrum until such time that they fall asleep. Now periodically, you can go to the door and say "You know its time for you to go to sleep," and walk away. Invariably those children will just fall asleep ultimately out of exhaustion, right there by the door, but that doesn't matter because once they're asleep you can pick them up, you can put them back in their bed, and then you can leave them. When they wake up which you're going to assume they will do during the night, you just have to repeat exactly the same process. If you're going to use the less aggressive approach for the older child who can get out of bed, it's a simple thing; you just stay in the room and if they clamber for your attention, then you have to pick them up and you have to put them back in the bed. Then they're going to come back up and you have to put them back in the bed; you're just going to have to keep doing that until such time that they realise, "My goodness, it's just not worth my while getting out of bed because all that happens is Mum just picks me up and puts me back in the bed; she doesn't even say anything, she just puts me back in the bed. This isn't fun; I might as well stay where I am".
