How do we tell our children we're divorcing?
The best way to tell your children that you're going to be divorcing, is to sit down together and to do it in an unemotional way. Tell the children that you're going to live apart, not because of anything they've done, but because you've decided as parents that that's the best way for you two to live independently, and to become better parents. Tell the children that they are going to see their parents on a regular basis. This opportunity to tell your children about the divorce is not an opportunity to align with either one, but to really help the children through the process. It's important to not have the child feel that they have to take a side - to not feel that they have to blame one of the parents. It will help decrease their anxiety if they know it was a joint decision, and that there's nothing that they can do about it. If they feel that they can do nothing about it, they actually feel more powerful than less powerful, which is paradoxical but true. So, children will be OK with that, and say, "I understand." It's very important to give them the simple truth in the most unemotional way that you possibly can.
