How do I know if I'm the controller or the controllee in my divorce?
The controller is the one who is dominating the process. If you're looking at the two parties, it is generally one of the parties, although that control can shift. It is my job as a lawyer, I believe, to help somebody assert control. And you don't have to do it in mean or litigious way. But take control of themself and take control of the process by understanding the process. The controllee is the one who is being controlled, or the more submissive one. In my book, I give worksheets to help you determine that. But if you don't want to take the time to go through those worksheets, just step back and think about it. Talk to your therapist, talk to your lawyer, reflect on the process and who is working with you and do some soul searching and figure out, "Is this how you want to act?" Maybe you're just fine being controlled. Maybe you prefer that. A lot of litigants go to a lawyer so they don't have to make decisions, and they pick a lawyer who will control them and tell them what to do. Do I think that's the best way to handle the divorce process and picking a lawyer? No. That's my value judgment. But for certain people, that's what they want and need.
