How can we break the cycle of always dating the 'wrong'person?
The intense experiences of childhood create an increasing desire and attraction for that same kind of person that may have perpetrated those awful experiences in childhood. So if you keep seeing the same kind of abusive, unavailable, or alcoholic addict that you continue to be attracted to and you know there's an antecedent experience in childhood that sort of set that up, get help. That's not going to change. Or, an intermediate step is try to go for say a guy, in this case, or a girl, that's not quite so exciting. Someone you're attracted to, but not super attracted to because you know your attraction system is broken. If you had a trauma in childhood you know when you are super attracted to somebody that's your compass spinning. That's the old heritage being acted out in the present and you should know not to do that. You should learn to read your attractions. So, if you can be with somebody that is moderately attractive, but not super attractive and still feel good in the relationship, that's the goal. Try to work on that attachment to that person, a more complete relationship. But if the trauma was too bad, you'll sabotage the real relationship and keep going for the bad guys. Get help, if that happens.
