What do we need to do as a couple to salvage our relationship after an affair?
In order to salvage a relationship after an affair, the cheating partner has to give up the lover, or whatever the act has been; whether it be the internet, the physical affair or an emotional affair. For the two of you to work on and salvage this relationship there have to be two people willing to do that. You can't do it alone; one person can't do it alone. That's where the beginning of your new relationship is starting. You can get through this. You can actually have deeper, more honest love on the other end of this. It's like rebuilding your home that's been knocked down by an earthquake. This time you're going to put a stronger foundation and a huge bunch of concrete to make your relationship firm. It starts with radical honesty. It starts with the cheater being willing to make amends and understand that they don't want to do that ever again. It takes the person who's been cheated on to have the ability, once you move through your feelings, to forgive. It takes both of you being willing to realise that your relationship is the most important thing, that you don't want to lose it and that you're both making a commitment to remarry each other. That's where it all begins. In order to rebuild your relationship from the ground up, you need to start bringing the romance back into it. At first the last thing you want to do, especially right after you've discovered there's an affair in the midst, is to get close. So, it's slowly approaching each other by spending more time together, by having more positive time together; time when you're not talking about the affair, starting to go out on dates together, and starting to see each other anew because the truth is you're not innocent anymore. There's a whole new person before you. Something has happened between you that, in a way, like an etch-a-sketch, shakes up the relationship, and lets you start new. Use this as an opportunity to discover this person; to rediscover this person, because in that you can hopefully rediscover something new that you like, some passion. Spend some time, some quality time, just together. Start bringing more romance back into your relationship. Start by being radically honest about who you are, what you want, and what you need, because the truth is you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
