How does offering food to guests differ among cultures?
Offering food is something Americans say, "Would you like some ice cream?" We'll say, "Oh, no thank you. Not right now." And I'll ask you one more time, "Would you like some ice cream?" And you'll say, "No, thank you" and I've got the message you don't want any ice cream. But, I learned from a friend of mine who was actually an instructor of mine from Indonesia at UCLA. And he said, when he first came to the US, he was so hungry all the time, people would invite him for dinner. And they'd say, "Would you join us for dinner?" And he'd say, "No, thank you." And they'd say, "Oh, come on, have something to eat with us." And he'd say, "No, thank you." And so they would stop asking, thinking they didn't want to push food on him; maybe he didn't like American food. And so, he was really hungry. And he learned to overcome his rule: at home, people have to ask you three times, offer you food three times before you can accept it. And that applies not only in Indonesia but in other parts of the world as well. So how do you know? I could never stand my mother-in-law; she was born in the old world, and my husband didn't like it either. As soon as we sat down, she would start bringing out all the food. Well, if you bring it out, then that solves that, so don't ask, just serve it and they'll take it. "Oh no, not right now." So then, ask three times.
