How do I know if I should initiate a divorce?
The question of whether or not to initiate a divorce is probably the most difficult question that you are ever going to be faced with in terms of your marriage. It's even more important than getting married because you have an established life with this person. You often have children, you have property and you have spilled your life into his or hers, and vice versa. Whether to divorce is a very difficult question. The initiation of divorce brings on a lot of consequences; a lot of personal consequences and a lot of family consequences. You really have to think clearly if a divorce is what you want. I really advise people to take their time, as long as it takes, to really think about if that's what they want to do. First and foremost, I believe that you should work on your marriage. See what the deficits are that are making you think about divorce. Understand if they're about you or about the couple. Understand why your needs have changed, and understand why all of a sudden this person who was perfect for you five years ago is so bad at this point. It's amazing how many people denigrate someone who just a few years before they were totally infatuated with. It's very important to figure out what's going on with you. For many people, consider a divorce is a personal crisis; it has nothing to do with their partner. Sorting that our takes time. It often takes professional help. That has to be done before you initiate the divorce.
