A Couple's Guide To Swinging
What is swinging? Who does it? Can it work for you? Dr. Joy talks about "the lifestyle" and issues that can arise. For more information on love and health, or to read a full transcript of this video, visit http://www.loveandhealth.info
Step 1: Meet Joy Davidson:
Welcome. I'm Dr. Joy Davidson. I'm a love and health advisory board member, a psychologist, an ASECT certified sex therapist in Manhattan, and my website is joydavidson.com.
Step 2: The facts:
Many of us grow up imagining that the prince or princess of our dreams is going to come along and we will live together forever in hot monogamy. Sadly, not all our fairy tales end so happily. In America, sexless marriages are approximately 20 percent, divorces are still at 50 percent and men and women are having about the same number of affairs, which range from 30 to 35 percent, depending on the study that you're reading.
Step 3: Polymory:
So it's understandable that a lot of couples are starting to ask whether traditional sexual styles make sense anymore. They're asking could there be another way to go about this and make their marriages last? Is sexual exclusivity -- that's a mouthful right there -- even sensible anymore? Is it necessary? Is it the be all and end all? Well, in seeking an answer to those questions, millions of couples are beginning to explore the various ways that they can engage in ethical consensual non-monogamy and the two most widely practiced forms are polyamory and swinging. In today's video we're going to be talking about swinging. In another one we'll be talking about polyamory.
Step 4: What are 'swingers'?
Swingers are couples who have sex with other couples or individuals but don't get involved in romantic or intimate relationships. Nobody seems to know the true number of swingers in America. Estimates suggest about two percent of paired up people, but because swinging, which is also known as "the lifestyle" as if there were only one, is often entertained in private and with a great deal of discretion, so figures are hard to come by. Swinging couples usually do their sexual exploring at private parties or at houses or nightclubs that are specifically set up for that purpose. Locations range from, for example, a mammoth redwood lodge in the Pacific Northwest that's all done up in retro 70s style and has huge park like landscaped grounds, or an 80s style disco in the Southeast, or some clubs that look a whole lot more like Elks Clubs than sex clubs, or your next door neighbor's private home.
Step 5: You never know:
You never know where a suburban swing group will meet, but whatever the ambiance of the location, they share a kind of joie de vivre.
