A Guide To Business For Bond Villains
Over the years each James Bond, from Sean Connery to Daniel Craig, has thwarted the attempts of villains such as Goldfinger and Dr. No to take over the world. This is more often than not the fault of the villains in the first place; leaving an inept guard to oversee Bond's capture; the lose mouths of their hot girls or the simple inability to just finish Bond off when they get the chance. Well that is until now. Here is a guide for aspiring Bond Villains in running a 'business' set on world domination!
Step 1: Curb your eccentricites
You have to make sure you project the right image. You may think menacing mannerisms strike fear into the hearts of your employees, but they certainly won't garner you the respect you desire. Lose the pets; buy a good suit; and curtail any outlandish habits you have. All of this should provide you with the requisite authority and control over your minions...
Step 2: Location, location
A key factor in the success of your empire is it's location. With high overheads, elaborate and extravegant offices will be a drain on the resources of a small business. Go instead for a central city office, with good transport links for employees, this will place you instantly in a vibrant business community with a more efficient working enviornment that will get the best out of everyone in the company.
Step 3: Staff
Hiring the right staff is imperative if you want your business to thrive and take on the world. Make sure you hire workers with the necessary credentials - some interviewees may impress you with more, individual skills, but are they going to be able to drive your business forward? You know exactly what you want from your employees - it's your business after all - so make sure you pick the best...
Step 4: Don't divulge trade secrets
The world of business is dog eat dog, so keep your business plans on a tight leash. You may think you can trust those around you, but be aware that even the most loyal employees can be tempted away by the promises of a rival. If this does happen, make sure you take swift and immediate action to ensure that others won't follow suit.
Step 5: Kill off the competition
If you want your business to take over the world then you're going to have to develop a ruthless streak. Competitors are always going to cause you problems, so if you have the chance to kill off a rival then do so without hesitation. In business, mercy is for the weak.
So there you have it, all the tips you need to turn your fledgling business into a global empire, and remember, worldwide domination is not a dream, it's a reality…
