Couples Fighting Styles: The High Level Attacker
Aggressive, hysterical, abusive - this individual will win an argument at all costs. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall gives her advice on dealing with the high level attacker.
Step 1: Description
When it comes to arguments, the High Level Attacker will win at all costs. They will shout and scream, use intimidating language, become hysterical and may even become violent. They fear being hurt, threatened or abandoned and use anger as a means to protect themselves from this.
Step 2: If you are…
If you are a High Level Attacker and you find yourself in an argument, the first thing you need to do is relax. Keep a check on your emotions and if you find yourself becoming angry then tell your partner. Ask if you can put the discussion on hold while you take time to calm yourself down, then resume the discussion, at a later date if need be, when you are more relaxed. You may benefit from some anger management techniques - counting to ten, monitoring your breathing, etc. You might consider seeking the advice of a professional to help you with this.
Step 3: If your partner is…
If your partner is a High Level Attacker, you may well find things very difficult indeed. When you're in an argument, you can help your partner by being calm and reassuring. If they - or you - begin to get angry, suggest taking some time out to cool down before continuing the discussion.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, you need to be clear that this is not acceptable. Seek professional help immediately - call your local domestic violence agency, or women's aid on 0808 2000 247.
