Flaky Friend

Step 1: What She'll Do

Flaky friend's the best, most reliable, steadfast mate around. When it suits her. Unfortunately – that's never. She's easy to spot – just look at the photos of important events in your life – she'll be the one who isn't there.

Dinner at your place? She'll fail to turn up. Girls holiday? She won't be organised enough to buy a ticket in time. Best mate's birthday party – guess who won't make it on time. She's always really sorry, but you just wouldn't believe what happened to her.

“The traffic was really bad”, “My mobile ran out of batteries”, “boyfriend's ill”, “I'm really busy with work”, “Aliens abducted me”.

Anything but what we really know to be true, “I'm just a useless waste of space who can't be bothered to get my fat arse off the sofa”

Step 2: What You Can Do

You could accept the fact that she always really, really wanted to be there and is so so sorry that the police, council, aliens, etc stopped her from attending, or you could kick her to the kerb. “How to dump your mates” will show you how.