How To Annoy People: At The Movies

Step 1: Talking During The Film

And here we have our first winner! Talking throughout the movie! Congratulations mate, No one here wants to listen to the film - they'd much rather listen to your inane banter about how pointless your existence is.

Step 2: Eating Food Loudly

Brilliant! We know that cinemas for some reason feel the need to sell loud foods, but it's good that you feel you have the right to make as much noise with them as possible - that is in no way completely irritating! You win a prize! ANNOYING!

Step 3: Slurping The End Of A Drink

And to follow on from that, more unnecessary refreshment based annoyance! Do you really need those last few drops of overpriced coke? Will you die of thirst without them? I almost wish you would!

Step 4: Having A Phone Ring And Answering It

You know you're supposed to turn the damn thing off, they tell you to at the start of the film for god's sake! Genius mate, how do you not realise how Annoying you are?

Step 5: Asking 'What Happens Next?'

Really? Honestly, why do you feel the need to ask? I haven't seen it, that's why I'm here.

Step 6: Laughing Far Too Loudly

Yes, that joke was funny. A bit. But you do not need to laugh solidly for the next five minutes.

Step 7: Sitting In Front Of People When Other Seats Are Available

There are seats all over the place, so why exactly do you feel the need
to sit directly in front of someone and block their view? Annoying?

Step 8: Throwing Popcorn At People

Throwing popcorn is hilarious, you ANNOYING idiot!

Step 9: Kissing Throughout The Film

Why did you even bother buying a ticket?

So there you go ladies and gentlemen, just a few of the many annoying idiots oblivious to the fact that they're annoying anyone and everyone around them. But there is one more award- for me- as the most annoying thing of all is when somebody gets loudly annoyed with someone and annoys everyone else. Enjoy the film...