How To Be A Great Football Manager
Welcome to the Rudi Latka's Soccer School. In this film top manager Rudi Latka shows you some of his top managemant techniques! Rudi isn't big on playing fair and has some tips to help you cheat your opponents. We don't know who he actually managed but after the producer had a visit from the Russian mafia in a sushi bar he said we had to make the films.
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Step 1:
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Players
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It's always good to get the right calibre of player. Normally you have to pay a transfer fee to get a player. Or after the boozerman ruling you can now get some for free. It is good to get fit healthy players who are dedicated to the game.
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Step 2:
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Pitch
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You'll need to organise a pitch to play your home matches at. We have a big stadium for our team but today we play in London. Make sure you have nice grass and that you have got rid of any animals.
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Step 3:
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Referee
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Before a game I like to have a little chat and ask about his wife and children and that and see how he's doing. At half time you may want to have a word with him to make sure things go your way. I always try and stay calm and never shout at the ref and I encourage my players to be respectful too!
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Step 4:
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Attitude
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Make sure you have a winning attitude. If they are losers you need to mock them for their failures. You need players with a determination to win at all costs.
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Step 5:
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Tactics
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Try and keep the tactics nice and complicated so the opposition is confused. Tell the players the tactics first and even use visual aids to help. If the tactics are good then you will win and if you are losing then change the tactics.
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Step 6:
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Team talk
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Before you send your players out onto the pitch it is very important to communicate the tactics to your players. At half time while the players are having their oranges and fags you might want to tell them how well they've done or how they can improve in the second half. Sometimes it's good to have a go just to keep them motivated by using soothing words.
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Step 7:
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Team bonding
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There are many ways to help team bonding but as manager. Hugging is good when celebrating victories together. Drinking beer together is also a good way to celebrate. I find that another nice way to celebrate after the game is to all have a shower together.
