How To Be Lazy Around The House And Get Away With It

Step 1: Make necessary jobs easier

Sometimes, a chore simply cannot be avoided. We know you want to get away with a prolonged spell of extreme apathy, so you need to make any job you are lumbered with as easy as possible.

Remember, the chair is your friend. There are a few chores that can't be managed on your backside, for everything else keep a stool by the kitchen sink, hoover from the comfort of your office recliner, and clean as much of the bathroom as possible from the comfort of your toilet.

Step 2: Heap praise on those who do the work for you

When someone cooks you a meal, does your washing up, or just brings you a cup of tea, shower them with praise. The more they can see how happy these things make you, the more likely it is they will gladly do it again.

You could say: "No one makes lasagne quite like you, it fills my heart full of wonder, and my taste buds feel like they are dancing on the wings of an angel."

The essential rule with laziness is that flattery will get you everywhere!

Step 3: Create the aura of a hard worker

If a job that takes a few minutes really has to be done, make it last a few hours. Spend most of this time doing nothing, but create plenty of mess. Come up with a set of fictional complications that have made it a much harder job than expected.

You should ask to be left to it because you want to “get in the zone” in order to do a good job. When their backs are turned, simply kick back, and relax.

Step 4: Organize your laziness

Laziness is an art form, and to do it well can take a surprising amount of planning, albeit at a very slow pace.

Organize the jobs you are putting off into a hierarchy. If you need to both tidy your room, and complete a vital work assignment, always opt for the tidying first (even if you do just hide the mess). The satisfaction of completing an entire task will put your lazy mind at rest. The lesson here is to always leave the lengthiest jobs till last!

Step 5: Sabotage the hard workers

There is nothing worse than a do-gooder that makes you look worse than you already are. Very subtly, try to sabotage their jobs. Drop a few crumbs after they have vacuumed. Sneak in a red sock when they help with someone else's washing, and slyly dirty up their dishes the moment they have cleaned them.
However, it is vital to never be caught on a sabotage mission.

Step 6: Create a lazy friendly house

Convince your housemates that a lazy house is a harmonious house.

Gather in the living room, settle down with a film keeping snacks and drinks to hand. Surround yourself with all household remote controls; keep a lengthy stick to hand for reaching distant light switches and so on.

Chill out, put your feet up, and enjoy your bone-idleness.