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How To Be Single And Happy

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How To Be Single And Happy

Learn to appreciate your single status. Here are five things that singles sometimes take for granted. Learn to appreciate your single status. Here are five things that singles sometimes take for granted.

Step 1: Sleep

Sleep is a beautiful thing. When you're single, no one's nagging at you to get up or counting the hours that you've spent in bed. You are left in peace with your box fan and body pillow. Sleep all day guilt-free!

Step 2: Money

When you're single, there's no joint account. You can do whatever you want with your money. There's none of that "what's yours is mine, what's mine is yours" foolishness. No household budget. Go ahead and buy that hideous, life-size statue of Wayne Newton. Put it in the middle of the living room. No one is the boss of you!

Step 3: Career

Work all night, all weekend if you want to. Then socialize with the boss until 2:00AM or later. Your married co-workers can't compete. They've got "commitments". You win by default! And when that headhunter calls, there's no one holding you back. Pack up and move wherever the fattest paycheck is waiting.

Step 4: Rejection

When you're single, rejection is your friend. If you're on a bad date, make up some excuse and get the heck out of there. You don't have to ever see her again.

Step 5: Amuse Yourself

Host a poker tournament complete with back up dancers. See how much laundry you can fit into the washer. Create a new dish out of the few things you have left in the cupboard and eat it in the middle of the night. Become a pro at belching the alphabet. The possibilities are endless.

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Tips & Comments
  1. pollyand

    Everybody needs companionship and I can help

  2. Jessica_Stromsky

    This always makes me happy ;) h ttp://howtohacklife101.blogspot.c om/2011/01/how-to-get-high-using-nothing-but-your.html

  4. halle

    rock on ! i always say be singel its cooolll ! it is cooll !

  5. Aidaho

    i'm exactly like that! and i'm a girl. i eat in the middle of the night, i sleep one whole day at least once a week, i never reproach or forbid.. but singleness seems to be a great lifestyle at first, but it gets old, and you start to think about killing yourself cause you don't have that special someone. well i'm tired of being single, but there's not a single man who would or want to bear me, plus i have so little time.. they always pass by, and never offer to be an item, because i forget about dates, and i'm lazy, and i always forget to call back, maybe i'm a loner?.. guess i'll be single forever..

  6. sprix

    For some reason this sick life style display, doesn't make me feel better one bit.

  7. bside025

    That is awesome! It's all in how you look at things. I Dream of Genie was great cause she could snap herself out of the room. As well as snap in a friend!

  8. lockedupme

    Why am I not still not happy being single? lol

  9. J3tza

    this is funny! At least I know my BF will not snap me, cuz I let him do all that stuff..lol Love the end!!

  10. plzkthx

    I try to find a girl who likes to sleep in (or get me up on important days) and I try to find one that wants to help in making those poker tourneys! Unfortunately...my body pillow sucks for cuddling and doesn't come with any holes, so it gets lonely at night. Talking to myself during the day seems to be getting old, too =/