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How To Chat Someone Up On The Train, Bus Or Tube
Remember that person you saw on the tube that you thought was devastatingly attractive but didn't have the nerve to talk to? With our help, you may never have to wonder if the one that got away was actually 'The One'. Follow these easy steps and you will have the confidence to chat someone up on public transport.
- You Will Need
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Step 2:
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Dealing with the Environment
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Public transport is a tough environment. Nobody really wants to be there, and most people don't like any intrusion into their privacy, preferring to focus on getting to work or getting home. To chat someone up successfully on public transport you need to be quick-thinking and decisive without being aggressive. It's a difficult thing to pull off, but just remember- it might be your soul mate that is escaping... never to be seen again.
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Step 3:
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The check out
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Wow! Check them out! You've seen someone you fancy, but you must act quickly as they may be getting off at the next stop. No time to lose....but wait- are they with someone? If so, does this person look like their other half? Chatting up someone's other half is inadvisable, and may end in tears.
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Step 4:
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Positioning
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No! They are on their own! All systems go!
Your positioning is critical. If you're waiting on a tube platform, let them get on first. You can check out where they decide to sit/stand, and position yourself in their line of sight. If they sit down, then sitting opposite is a good move. This is far better than being side by side as there is more chance of making eye contact. If the train is busy then you're likely to be standing. so get close, but not too close! If they're sitting and you're standing, try and avoid positioning your crotch in their face.
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Step 5:
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Props
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It's useful to have a newspaper, book or magazine in your hands, as it gives you something to pretend to look at, instead of awkwardly glancing around or staring off into space. If you have an mp3 player, be sure to take your headphones off, or you will look inapproachable. If you already have headphones on when you spot your target, casually take them off. If they are wearing headphones, then starting a conversation is going to be very difficult and you may want to consider Plan B, which is outlined later in the film.
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Step 6:
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Eye contact
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This is the best way to tell if someone finds you physically attractive. Begin by glancing up at him/her, catching their eye and holding it for a second or two. Then look away. Thirty seconds or so later, look up again, if he or she looks back again, this is a sign that they are interested. You may wish to repeat this move before you speak up as it is easy to misread these signals. If they don't look back at you the second time the chances are they're not interested, and you proceed at your peril.
TOP TIP- do not stare. It may make the other person feel nervous, confused or just plain scared.
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Step 7:
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Smile
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When you catch their eye for the second time, you might feel that a smile is appropriate; it'll make you seem friendly and approachable. If they smile back, it's likely that you're on to a winner. However, too much smiling can look odd, so be careful not to overdo it.
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Step 8:
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Body language
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Body language is a great give-away for how someone feels about you. After you've caught their eye and they have smiled, check out their body language. If they've angled themselves towards you this is a good sign.
Make sure your own body language is positive. Don't cross your arms, your legs, or hunch your shoulders; these are negative signals. Instead, angle your body toward them. You can also employ the technique of 'mirroring' where you subtly copy their body movements. If they shift positions in their seat, make a similar shift a few seconds later. If they brush their hair away from their face, do the same shortly afterwards. Done well, this can have the effect of making them feel in tune with you
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Step 9:
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Speaking up
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Now it's time to start a conversation. Most people don't have the nerve for this, but you must seize the day! You're on a timescale - they might have to get off at the next stop, so it's best to act quickly. Reassure yourself that you've got nothing to lose; if you are knocked back you won't see them, or anyone else in the carriage again.
Try and ask a question that requires more than a 'yes' or 'no' answer. Don't ask "does this train stop at Victoria?" as they can simply say "yes", and end the conversation. Instead, ask an "open question" like "how do you get to Victoria?" as they will have to reply with a more detailed answer which will help you get a conversation going.
However, do expect them to look surprised that you've spoken up, and be prepared to repeat the question if they are startled. If they're genuinely interested in you they will be happy to start chatting. You'll be able to tell if they are not interested. If it is going badly, and you feel embarrassed, just get off at the next stop! -
Plan B
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If your nerves have got the better of you, or you're unsure if they find you attractive- there's another alternative. Write your name and phone number on a piece of paper, wait until they move to get off or your stop comes up- hand them the paper, make eye contact, smile and exit. It's quite simple. You leave it completely up to them. If they don't call then forget about it, you won't see them again. If they do call, arrange somewhere to meet and make sure you tell a friend where you're going. Good luck!
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