How To Cheat In An Eating Contest

Step 1: The False Start

Competitive eating contests begin with a count down and start signal. Listen to the rhythm of the count down and anticipate the start signal. Just before the count down reaches one, jump in. Just one extra second is all you need to get ahead by one hot dog. There's a right and wrong way to do this... and it will take practice. Make sure your premature move doesn't get you the axe.

Step 2: Man's Best Friend

You have to be at least 18 to enter a competitive eating contest, but your dog can be 2. Bring your carnivorous K-9 with you and use him to get the upper hand on your opponents.

Step 3: Dropping The Mule

One of the oldest cheats on record is referred to as "dropping the mule", where you drop hot dogs onto your competitor's plate. When the time is right, move several of your hot dogs onto the competition's plate. You'll have to use misdirection to accomplish the switch or suffer disqualification.

Step 4: Doing The Dishes

In competitive eating, progress is measured in plates. Empty ones. So add a few to your stack. Just don't get too carried away or your competition may cry foul.

Step 5: Just Relax-ative

The laxative is for later, but for now, try to relax your throat using throat spray. It's like stretching before a marathon... and it's perfect for the competitive eater. Open wide! Be careful. Some eating competitions feature random drug testing.