How To Clown About Whilst Being Pursued

Step 1: You will need

Step 2: The lampshade

The first rule of clowning evasion is to meld in with your environment.

Oh no! Here's Herman! But wait, Clown has a chance to use his disguise as a weapon.

Step 3: The Trunk

Like elephants, most households have a trunk.

Find a quick way to get inside and get comfortable. You may be there for some time.

Step 4: Curtains or drapes

The modern clown may wish to avoid the trunk as being too obvious, or cramped. Try hiding behind curtains, drapes or arrases. These tend to be easier to spy out of than a trunk.

Step 5: The crouch

If there's no time to hide in something, try behind something, by crouching. Keep an eye on your assailant.

Step 6: The corpse

Dead on your feet clown? Try pretending to be a corpse. This will distract your assailant with sadness, giving you time too make evasive action and escape.

Step 7: The false clown

If you've been running away for some time and there's nothing original to hide behind or in, try pretending to something your not: like a footstool.

Weighty assailants tire easily from the chase and can easily be fooled into taking a quick break or forty winks, giving you the opportunity to escape once more.

Keep evading the fox clown!