How To Deal With Dating Rejection Using NLP Techniques
This advice is given to us by love doctor Sam Van Rood and is based on his book Teach Yourself Flirting. Learn with VideoJug how to deal with rejection in the dating games using NLP techniques.
Step 1: Rejection Hurts!
Unfortunately, dating is full of rejection. Online, you will only get about 2 replies for every 10 emails you send. At speed dating, the average guy might only get a few ticks of approval.
Firstly, a little background information… A survey of Britons showed that 8 out of 10 of the participants were uncomfortable showing interest in the people they fancy.
That's because rejection hurts - literally. MRI scans show that rejection activates the part of the brain linked to physical pain. So to your brain, getting rejected is like sticking a needle in your finger.
Step 2: Let it all out
Pent-up emotions can be very destructive, so it is important to let everything out. Chat about the situation with friends or family.
If you feel unable to talk about the rejection you've experienced to a friend, write down your feelings in a mind map, or even just in a journal. This will allow you to organise your thoughts, and make an outlet for your emotions.
Step 3: Push the feel good button
So what can you do if you have been rejected? Firstly, and most obviously, do something to lift your mood and make you more motivated; exercise is always a good way of stimulating endorphins, so do some running, dancing, swimming or walking. If you are more of a relaxation type, have a hot bath, go to a sauna or watch your favourite comedy DVD that makes you laugh.
Getting outdoors, getting lots of sunlight, breathing deeply and avoiding caffeine, cigarettes and other chemical stimulants will also help you feel more physically healthy and positive.
Step 4: Put it in perspective
A rejection can seem bigger than is really is and make you lose perspective.
Step 5: Take a pain killer
Get some perspective - write down the one rejection, and then next to it, write down the five best big things that are happening in your life in a list. Talk to yourself about how you feel about them, and how good they look.
How big is the rejection really? That's right, it's a lot smaller than you think!
Try this popular Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique to kill the pain of rejection, using no pharmaceuticals - only your mind!
Make a rejectometer – think about a time you were rejected and rank how rejected you feel from 1-10, where 1 is totally fine, and 10 it totally rejected.
Press your left thumb and forefinger together and relive the rejection, how it looked, sounded and felt.
Now, press your right thumb and forefinger together.
AND think about a time when you felt fantastic, maybe dancing with your friends, or lying on a beach. Remember it in full colour with the sound up loud!
Now let go of your left, then right forefingers
Repeat this 5 times
Now check your rejectometer – write down how bad the rejection is from 1-10. You will notice your rejection will have gone down, and the pain will be less.
Repeat this every time you get rejected, otherwise little rejections will build up.
Now you have taken your rejection painkiller, get back out there into the dating game
Well done - you have minimised the pain of rejection using NLP and are ready to get out there again and do battle against your singleness!