How To Deal With Gossip
Catholic priest Father Jeffrey shows VideoJug users how we can change idle and destructive gossip into constructive problem solving. Make any situation better with key tips from this video.
Step 1: Gossip
Gossip, when you entertain gossip into our lives, I think essentially, in Junior High School and High School. Suddenly, the stories of our lives and the stories of others seem to be this story more important than what’s on the news, more important than what’s happening in the world.
Step 2: Negative Gossip
Gossip. Usually it’s negative gossip. “Did you hear what so and so did? Oh! That’s terrible.” What’s the first thing that should come out of our mouths when somebody brings us some bad news about somebody else? The first thing out of our mouth should be, “What can we do to help?” And the person will say, “I don’t want to get involve, it’s none of our business.” Then, why have we brought it up?
But if we bring up the possibility of making the situation better, then we’ve moved from gossip to positive problem solving. A big, big, difference.
We might say, “Well, we don’t know what to do, we can’t figure out how to help.” Then we could pray that somebody enters the situation that does have the skills and the intestinal fortitude to help somebody out in trouble.
Step 3: Rumors
The second type of gossip is the gossip that surrounds rumors. “Oh, did see or hear what so and so might have did or might have said? Well, no.” Have ever played that rumor game where you have ten people in a room and the first person whisper something in the ear of the second to the third the fourth, the fifth and how funny it is when you finally get to the tenth person how the message has changed completely.
Rumors, gossip, they could destroy a person’s reputation and ruin a person’s life. Do we want to be a part of that chain of spite?
When a rumor comes along, where we don’t know if something is actually in place. We can immediately begin by pointing out the known virtues of the person or the people involved. Well, this matter may not have happened. I don’t know. But I do know, this person’s a good father. I do know that woman is an excellent employee. I know that that teenager volunteered to feed the hungry or to clothe the naked. I don’t know about these other things, those are rumors. But I do know that virtue.
I have a belief, that if we point out the virtues of someone who has been maligned, when that person’s not there. The one where being maligned are someone saying nasty things about us out of earshot. Someone will be inspired to come to our defense or aid and put on a good word in for us.
Step 4: Finish
Many of us would never think of robbing a dime from another human being but so many of us get trapped into robbing a human being of his or her own reputation. And that is much worse. Let’s learn to control our tongues. Control our evil imaginations. And if we could do that, we’ll all be better for it. Gossip is out, problem solving in and spreading the good news of the virtues of those around us will make us all better.
