How To Deal With Mistletoe In The Office

Step 1: You will need

Step 2: The tradition

There is a longstanding custom that when two people cross paths beneath a sprig of mistletoe, they must share a kiss.

Step 3: Appropriate Kissing

So what sort of kiss is appropriate at the office? Should you play safe with an air kiss, or is this too frosty? Should you make contact on the cheek or lips? Should you ever slip your boss some tongue to seal that promotion? A platonic kiss planted firmly and on the cheek ticks all of the boxes..... friendly and warm, but not too friendly or too warm. If anyone wants more from you than that you'll be able to tell.

Step 4: Is it cheating?

If you are in a committed relationship, then you may be worried that having to kiss your workmates counts as adulterous behaviour. Keep all kisses platonic and your conscience will be clear.

Step 5: The office party

Mistletoe kissing may come to a head at the office Christmas party, when alcohol spirits away inhibitions, and office hierarchy somehow seems less important. Like heavy machinery, mistletoe becomes more dangerous the more you drink. Limit your booze consumption, as your judgement of what is an appropriate kiss will diminish with every glass of wine.

Step 6: The mistletoe hog

At Videojug, we don't have a mistletoe hog, but many offices do. We borrowed someone else's to show how devastating they can be. If this happens at your office, have some excuses at the ready such as, "Please desist, you're in my personal space", "Please back off, you're freaking me out" or "The terms of my parole do not allow me to kiss workmates" are all suitable.

Step 7: Starting something

What if the partner of your dreams is in your office, but you haven't shared that crucial moment? Well, there are many easier ways to let someone know you are interested than hanging around like a lovesick pup under the mistletoe waiting for your beloved to walk past.

However, if you have been flirting all year, and you are 100% that all they need is a little nudge to break the ice then get them alone, perhaps in the photocopying room, and produce your own sprig of mistletoe. Hold it over their head, and pucker up.