How To Do The Hug And Roll
Do the hug 'n roll! Fed up of intrusions on your side of the bed? Here's how to reclaim your sleepy time from a cuddlesome woman...
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Step 1:
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The Wait
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Wait until your girl is asleep, or very drowsy. How do you know she is asleep? Her breathing will be heavy and slow, and a pool of dribble will collect on your chest. Test her sleepiness by making a short sharp noise…. Drop a pan, or play a single note from a musical instrument. If she sleeps through, it's time for step 2.
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Step 2:
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The Hug
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Give her a really tight squeeze. The important thing is that the hug you are giving her is too tight to be sustained all night
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Step 3:
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The Roll
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She's expecting the release, she gets a release and a roll. Here's that again… you release her from your hug, and as you reposition you roll her gently over to her side of the bed.
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Step 4:
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Emergency Protocols
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There are three emergency situations which you should know the protocol for:
Emergency 1. After the roll she wakes up a bit and becomes restless. Don't panic, put your arm back onto her, nice and slow. This let her subconscious know you are still there being a supportive partner. Let her settle, and withdraw your arm.
Emergency 2 You trap your arm. Your lower arm is still trapped, but don't get carried away, instead gently roll her further onto her side so you can remove it without waking her. Remember to pull it out very slowly, move too quickly and you'll spin your loved one onto the floor.
Emergency 3 She comes back for more. If she re-intrudes on your side of the bed, be ready. Pull your pillow out from under your head, so she hugs that instead of you. Now scoot round and sleep on the side she has just vacated. night night