How To Fight A Duel
Duelling with swords or pistols is no longer practical. Instead, if you have an unresolved feud with a friend or acquaintance, watch VideoJug's How To Fight A Duel for some modern alternatives.
Step 1: The history of duelling
A duel is a fight, between two gentlemen, which settles an argument. Traditionally, duels were often fought to the death, and in Regency England was such a popular pursuit that the London police could not cope with the numbers of aristocrats slain fighting duels in the Royal Parks.
Duelling with swords or pistols is illegal in the UK, and despite popular misconceptions, has always been illegal. A death resulting from a duel is treated as murder, and, according to legend, the last gentlemen to fight a duel in England in 1852, both died. Mr. Cornet was shot and killed by Mr. Bartholmy, who was hanged for his murder.
So duelling with swords or pistols nowadays is neither practical nor efficacious. Instead, there are various modern activities that can be used to settle disputes.
Step 2: Demanding satisfaction
The first way is to simply say "Sir, I demand satisfaction!", to which the acceptance is: "then you shall have it sir!" Remember that the culture of duelling developed so that gentlemen could remain polite at all times, and that when demanding satisfaction there is no reason to do so angrily or aggressively.
A second way to demand satisfaction is to lightly slap the face of your rival with a silken glove, but take care not to make contact with your own hand, as this is unpardonable. You should carry a silken glove around for this purpose at all times.
Step 3: Modern techniques for duelling
As we have noted, pistols and swords are no longer acceptable weapons, but the modern gentleman can adapt modern pursuits for the purpose.
Step 4: Thumb war
This simple game is an excellent modern alternative to traditional duelling, as there is no bloodshed. Both duellists curl the four fingers of their right hands, and then grip each other's hand. The duellists thumbs stand proud. The duellists look each other in the eye and recite "1 2 3 4, I declare thumb war!" They then attempt to capture the other's thumb between their thumb and fist. The first to hold the other's thumb for a count of three, is pronounced the winner of the duel, and honour is satisfied.
Step 5: Talent competition
Each duellist must pick a talent of their choice and perform it to the best of their ability.
The winner of this talent duel is decided by phone vote.
Step 6: Other techniques
There are many other techniques for fighting a modern duel. You might challenge your rival to a competitive computer game, a game of 'slapsies', or a board game that challenges their vocabulary and intellect, that will decide the matter in question.
Step 7: A note on style
It is essential that while fighting a duel, you pepper your language with well-mannered expletives such as "Damme!" "Have at you!" and "On guard, good sir!" This will add to the experience for duellists and spectators.
Armed with these alternatives to the sword or pistol, we at Videojug are confident you will be able to settle all disputes that arise to your satisfaction and the satisfaction of your opponent.