How To Find Your Birth Family

Step 1: Are you ready?

Choosing to search for your birth family is a decision that can't be taken lightly. You must ensure that it is the right time to start this demanding personal journey.

Step 2: Finding your birth records

The first step in your search is to find out more about your birth parents. A great starting point for this information is your original birth certificate. Once you are 18 you can apply for a copy of this. The birth certificate will provide information on your birth mother. It will have details on your birth father if they were given at your birth.

The next step is to request your adoption records from the agency who placed you. There will be much more detail in your adoption records - maybe a description of your birth mother and her likes and dislikes.

At this point, you will learn about many aspects of your background that you were unaware of. You may experience a range of feelings, some negative. Give yourself time to work out how you feel about meeting your parents before you make the next step towards adoption reunion.

Step 3: Tracing your relatives

With all the information you have collated you can start trying to locate your birth family. A good first port of call is an Adoption Contact Register. This enables adopted adults and adoptive parents to list their details on the register outlining their wish to make contact if the other wants to.

If your family is registered on here, it will save you the trouble of having to find out their current details. However, don't rely on the register - just because your birth family have not signed up, it doesn't mean that they won't want to make contact.

There are many other means of finding your birth family's current details such as the electoral role, telephone directories and birth, marriages and deaths registry in Stockport.

Step 4: Contacting Relatives

This is likely to be the hardest part of your search; when you try and get in touch with your family for the first time. You may choose to make this contact through an intermediary. This can be used as an emotional buffer for when you initially make contact. You can use a professional counsellor or agency or maybe even ask a close friend to first make contact with your birth family.

Try not to set your expectations too high at this point. Though many birth parents agree to contact, some families may have decided that the right thing for them is to have no further contact with their adopted child. This can be difficult to deal with so do rely on help and support from those around you. However, many adopted adults have successful searches and are able to finally meet their birth family.