How To Get Off The Phone With Someone Who Won't Shut Up
If you're on the phone with someone who doesn't respect your time, here's your way out.
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Step 1:
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Pre-emption
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If you know it's a loud-mouth calling, don't answer. Hopefully he can tell you what he wants via voicemail. Respond when you know he won't pick up or if your voicemail has a reply option respond directly -- voicemail to voicemail.
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Step 2:
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The Setup
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Open with a line like "Perfect timing! I just happen to have five minutes free right now to talk."
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Step 3:
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The Ticking Clock
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Keep reminding him how much time you have left. If you know they're afraid to ask something directly, jump right to the answer.
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Step 4:
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Gotta Go
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Be blunt. Tell them your time is up. If they still don't shut up, interrupt, remind them you have to go, and let him know it you enjoyed talking to them Encourage the caller to e-mail you about any unfinished business.
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Step 5:
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Fake Emergencies
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If the caller still won't go away, it's time for drastic measures.
Tell them you have a bathroom emergency. Make them think your life is in danger with disaster sound effects. Fake a broken connection; make it convincing by cutting yourself off.
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Step 6:
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Don't Fret
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If you're worried about being rude, remember -- the real rude one is the person who won't shut up. And here's a bonus: your display of how important your time is may make callers rethink how they chat on the phone.
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Done.