How To Have Sex In Public Without Getting Caught

Step 1: Accessible Attire

We've all seen tons of movie scenes where the kids are enjoying a skinny dip in the lake and someone comes along and runs away with their clothes. Don't fall victim to this trick. Make sure you're donning duds that you won't have to take off at all.

Step 2: Start Simple

Putting on a show in the opera house balcony and doing the dirty on the 50-yard line should be left up to the pros. There are tons of semi-public places to start with. The loo is one of them, although it gets mixed reviews. Some think it's just plain tacky and un-sanitary, others think it's gritty yet appealing. Nonetheless, it's definitely a good starting place for amateurs.

Step 3: Sex On The Beach

Sex on the beach is a very popular choice, but not as easy or as pleasurable as it looks in the movies. In reality, the water is cold, which doesn't make for an easy task for men. And the sand is good for exfoliation - but once it gets in all the nooks and crannies, it is not at all a good time. If you are still gung-ho, bring a blanket and come at night. Beaches usually don't have any lights so no one will see you.

Step 4: Auto Arousal

For the same reason that people think it's private enough to pick their nose in traffic, the car makes for a private-enough location for doing the nasty. After all, parking has been around for decades and if caught in the car, an officer usually just taps his stick on the window and asks you to leave.