How To Intimidate The Opposition
Welcome to the Rudi Latka's Soccer School. In this film top manager Rudi Latka shows you some how to intimidate the opposition! Rudi isn't big on playing fair and has some tips to help you cheat your opponents. We don't know who he actually managed but after the producer had a visit from the Russian mafia in a sushi bar he said we had to make the films.
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Step 1:
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Pay them a visit before the game
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In their dressing room
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In their home
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At work
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Step 2:
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Size matters
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If you're a bigger team let them know it. Stand over them and look down on them. Flex your muscles and show them that you mean business.
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Step 3:
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Brag
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Let the opposition know about your past exploits, all the games you have won and all the fights you have been in how many of your opponents you have killed or put in hospital – even if you've never done anything bad just lie and pretend that you have.
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Step 4:
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Cheat
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Use every opportunity to cheat your opponents – use the diving, the time wasting, fouling to put them off their game. I've made some special films for the Videojug so watch them.
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Step 5:
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Help them after fouling them
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Give them a friendly hand up from the floor with their hair, check if they are OK by putting some colour back in their cheeks, if they look like they need waking up a bit a friendly slap across the face may help.
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Step 6:
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Fight
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If you're losing by a large margin just start fighting them, they'll retaliate and the game will be turned into chaos and be abandoned by the referee, kick, poke the eyes, scratch and bite
