How To Make Sure Your Kid Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost

Step 1: Pre-Emptive Ghost Busting

If your child is concerned about ghosts, have an open and frank discussion with them about it in a safe, friendly environment. Perhaps around a kitchen table, or similar.
Explain that no one knows for sure whether or not ghosts actually exist, although they probably definitely do.
Make it clear that if ghosts do exist, they are likely to be friendly, and that there are NO reported cases of ghosts causing serious harm to anyone THE WORLD OVER, bar the occasionally sliming. Chances are it's a good ghost, so befriend it.
Ian: This all helps make light of the situation, and dampens your child's phobia to see that you ain't afraid of no ghost.

Step 2: If things go bump in the night

If you're trying to calm a restless child who is convinced there's monsters under the bed, you might need a quick fix so you can get back to sleep.
Simply invent some sort of mystical protection – be it a magic blanket, or bottle of ghost-repellent spray. If you can't get any real Ghost-repellent spray, just make it up using any old nonsense because let's be honest they'll never know because they're only children.
Please note, lying to your children about ghosts may be costly further down the line if it turns out they need expensive therapy in order to unravel your complicated web of lies and deceit.
Also, before you spend thousands of pounds or dollars on a paranormal investigator to examine any deposits of ectoplasm on their bedsheets, you might like to just... check, first. Make sure it's definitely ectoplasm.

Step 3: Be Psychological

It's important that irrational fears shouldn't stunt your child's development, so don't go making things worse.
Respect their fears, and don't belittle them by telling them they're being a mewling little baby.
But don't be overprotective. You'll make things worse by mollycoddling him, but at the same time it's not helpful to teach your child that it's sensible to simply avoid everything they're afraid of.
Remember what it's like being tiny. Embrace your own inner child.
Overreaction to the situation will reinforce your child's belief that there's something to fear!


It's a well-established FACT that children have some sort of special ability to see that which we cannot, likes ghosts, phantoms, spirits, ghouls, specters, poltergeists or banshees.
So do not disparage your child by just assuming they're a nonsense crackpot.
Do some research into spectral phenomenon, and look to see if there's anything that could be causing it-
Passing car headlights refracted off a mirror, for example. Or Jupiter. Or neighbours' conversations coming through the wall, or hanging clothes that, come nighttime, have accidentally formed the image of a scary old man with old teeth and no eyes and makes a noise like 'raaaaaawrghhhhh', or similar.
Most ghost sightings are likely to be dreams, even if they don't feel like it at the time.
It's only when they're sat on the floor having a conversation with an un-tuned television in the middle of the day that you really need to worry.

Step 4: If things don't get better

Call in the professionals. We're ready to believe you!