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How To Meet Your Child's Gay Partner
Meeting your child's girlfriend or boyfriend for the first time can be an uncertain time for any parent, but when meeting your child's same-sex partner you may have all sorts of additional questions and concerns. Our film is packed with advice for parents in this situation.
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Step 1:
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Communicate
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If you have concerns about your son or daughter's gay relationship, let them know. Talk to your child and ask questions. If your child tells you that it is a happy, stable relationship, then allow yourself to be reassured by that. Show your child that you are open and willing meet their partner as this will help you integrate into this important part of your child's life.
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Step 2:
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Don't dismiss the relationship
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Don't treat your child's relationship differently than you would a straight relationship. What's important is that your child is in a happy, stable relationship, not whether it's gay one. For example, if you would allow a heterosexual adult child to share a bed with their partner in your home, then you should allow your gay child to do the same. There are lots of myths about gay relationships, for example that they don't last or aren't as serious or 'proper' as heterosexual one's. Your child's relationship might be quite different to your own one, but gay relationships are just as important and treated just as seriously by the partners involved as heterosexuals treat their relationships. As you may be aware the UK government recently allowed same sex couples to become civil partners which seen as equivalent to heterosexual marriage.
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Step 3:
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The meeting
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It's a good idea to meet your child's partner in a comfortable environment such as at home or in a favourite restaurant.
Show an interest in their life, what they do for work, how they feel about their own family.
Try not to interrogate / ask too many personal questions - there may be sensitive areas that the partner doesn't feel comfortable talking about - especially at a first meeting (abuse, rejection, bullying, etc).
Share things about your own life and interests in general terms too so that you all get to know each other.
Don't embarrass your own son/daughter by getting out the family photos or telling stories about embarrassing childhood stories.
Try to celebrate the meeting as a special occasion, after all you are being allowed into a very important part of your child's life.
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