How To Meet Your Child's Gay Partner
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How To Meet Your Child's Gay Partner
Meeting your child's girlfriend or boyfriend for the first time can be an uncertain time for any parent, but when meeting your child's same-sex partner you may have all sorts of additional questions and concerns. Our film is packed with advice for parents in this situation.
Step 1: Communicate
If you have concerns about your son or daughter's gay relationship, let them know. Talk to your child and ask questions. If your child tells you that it is a happy, stable relationship, then allow yourself to be reassured by that. Show your child that you are open and willing meet their partner as this will help you integrate into this important part of your child's life.
Step 2: Don't dismiss the relationship
Don't treat your child's relationship differently than you would a straight relationship. What's important is that your child is in a happy, stable relationship, not whether it's gay one. For example, if you would allow a heterosexual adult child to share a bed with their partner in your home, then you should allow your gay child to do the same. There are lots of myths about gay relationships, for example that they don't last or aren't as serious or 'proper' as heterosexual one's. Your child's relationship might be quite different to your own one, but gay relationships are just as important and treated just as seriously by the partners involved as heterosexuals treat their relationships. As you may be aware the UK government recently allowed same sex couples to become civil partners which seen as equivalent to heterosexual marriage.
Step 3: The meeting
It's a good idea to meet your child's partner in a comfortable environment such as at home or in a favourite restaurant.
Show an interest in their life, what they do for work, how they feel about their own family.
Try not to interrogate / ask too many personal questions - there may be sensitive areas that the partner doesn't feel comfortable talking about - especially at a first meeting (abuse, rejection, bullying, etc).
Share things about your own life and interests in general terms too so that you all get to know each other.
Don't embarrass your own son/daughter by getting out the family photos or telling stories about embarrassing childhood stories.
Try to celebrate the meeting as a special occasion, after all you are being allowed into a very important part of your child's life.
Tips & Comments
I watch through these videos by this guy and the opening gets repetative and annoying. But what he says is solid and good information. My parents have met my (female) partners without knowing that we are dating but see us a just friends. Im not 'out' to my parents, but im out to the rest of the world. As bad as it seems, its for the best. Homophobic parents who want grandchildren.. Hmm.
The trouble with religion is it copmresses us into old thinking without having choice. You were born a muslim...no choice...how can THAT be right?
Men are created for women and women are created for men. Sex is not a life style but it is a life matter as to have children who can be raised well to prosper this world and life. "They [your wives] are clothing for you and you are clothing for them." Qur'an 2:187
for moms & dads like albertpreasin27 down there: remember that this is an uncomfortable situation for your child and their partner. A lot of queer youth get the feeling they've dashed their parents hopes and dreams by coming out, and parents at first can act like their children have disappointed them art first. When you meet their partner, on some level they can feel it's a burdening or an awkward situation they are putting /you/ in, especially if they feel you've emotionally distanced yourself from them because of their orientation. If they can feel that you are loving, supportive, but not trying to mask your discomfort with half-attempts or overcompensating, they'll learn that you're okay, and loosen up with time.
Being "Gay" is not about wanting to be "another sex". It's about wanting a lifestyle.. a bit like wanting to wear Guess jeans. It's for simple-minded "Followers".
I agree with "DarkSoul". This is very un-realistic, unless your in a very accepting home. Unlike my family, who all are very homophobic.
Heh, this is a nice video. It's a way to teach people to be more accepting or anyone and everyone.
Well me and my wife exactly did the same things at the video, however my son and his friend didn't seem to be comfortable.
My mother needs to see this, she treats me and Aaron as if we're just in a phase
lol it wont play, i wana watch it