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How To Speak Geek

How To Speak Geek

The Internet's a confusing place, what with all this 1337 speak and LOL nonsense. What on Earth are all these nerds all talking about? Worry no more, as VideoJug presents this glossary of Internet terminology. A veritable Geek's Dictionary, if you will. You'll never get your ROLF mixed up with your NSFW ever again...

Step 1: LOL

LOL – Laugh out Loud: I am laughing out loud at your comment. Feel free to use this even though it's unlikely to be strictly-speaking true, and in reality you're just smirking a bit. Inwardly.

Step 2: ROFL

ROFL –Rolling on Floor Laughing: your post was so very humerous, I am genuinely rolling around on the floor laughing at it. Feel free to use this even though it's definitely unlikely to be strictly-speaking true.

Step 3: LMAO

LMAO – Laugh my Arse Off: this was so funny, the resulting laughter caused my rectum to prolapse. WTF is that all about?

Step 4: WTF

WTF – What the F***. What on Earth? Used to express disbelief in a subject. For example “WTF is this film all about?”

Step 5: NSFW

NSFW – Not Safe For Work. Warning: the link I've supplied goes to naughty and/ or really naughty material. Presumably goatse, or some such. Don't click it at work, like a total noob.

Step 6: Noob

Noob – a newbie. Generally used as an insult. Someone who doesn't understand the way things work yet, and as such is prone to making simple errors.

Step 7: Pwn

Pwn or Own: to be better than, or to beat in a humiliating fashion. Example: “I pwned that Noob” – generally used in the context of online gaming: I beat that new player: he sucks b4lls.

Step 8: 1337

1337 speak – leet, short for ‘elite'; used exclusively by nerds who somehow seem to believe they're better than letters, and so try to type using numbers and characters instead. Example: “Ph33r \/y 1337 sk1llz! j00 sux0r”: ‘my skills are extremely impressive, and as such you should well be afraid of them. You suck.'

Step 9: W00t

W00t- oh good. Spelled with zeros for O's, obviously. 1337 sp33k FTW.

Step 10: FTW

FTW – For the Win: this thing is good. Example: ‘Films about geek slang FTW'.

Step 11: FTL

FTL – For the Loss: opposite of FTW: this thing is rubbishy beyond repair. Example: ‘Films about geek slang are so 1997. This film FTL.'

Step 12: TLDR

TLDR – too long, didn't read: the article you referred to or wrote was long, and as such I could not be bothered to read what it said.

Step 13: OMG

OMG – Oh My God, I genuinely – and I'm not lying here -- cannot believe it: by crimmeny.

Step 14: ZOMG

ZOMG – variation of Oh My God, used nigh-on exclusively by geeks. Potentially infers sarcasm as to the level of disbelief. Example: ‘ZOMG does this film rock.'

Feel free to try out some of this so-called “internet speak” in the comments section below. We suggest starting with simply: ‘ZOMG, this film is l4m3'.

Good luck!