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How To Start Online Dating
Finding a date online can seem daunting but this guide provided Sam Van Rood from his Teach Yourself Flirting book will help you meet potential partners with a few clicks of your mouse. A great short video on how to start online dating. That perfect match is only minutes away!
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Step 1:
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Why look online?
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One word: choice. Once, the only people you'd find on internet dating sites were geeks; now you can find pretty much anyone of any age and interests. It's now thoroughly mainstream. The UK has the largest number of internet daters in Europe. Around 6 million people in the UK spent an estimated £63 million pounds last year, looking for love online. With all those users, you're bound to find someone right for you in your area.
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Step 2:
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Choosing a site
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There are plenty of dating websites out there - some larger companies like match.com or Dating Direct deal with a full range of people and matches.
But you can also find specialist sites if you're looking for someone specific. If religion is important to you, there's a dating site for your faith, like Jdate for Jewish singles, christianconnection, as well as Hindu, Muslim and Sikh matchmaking websites such as asians4asians and karmaconnection. There are specialist gay and lesbian sites like Gaydar, Outpersonals and Girlsweb. In fact, the list of special interest sites is almost endless: veggiedate.com, equestriansingles.com, bikerdating.co.uk, greensingles.com, gothicmatch.com...
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Step 3:
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How much will it cost?
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There are some free dating sites, but you may find more genuine potential dates in subscription sites; they also offer additional security checks and anonymity.
You should expect to pay about £30 a month - although many sites offer package deals which makes the cost cheaper if you sign up for a longer period.
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Step 4:
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Writing your profile
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In your profile, you have to sell yourself. Be eye-catching - you have about three seconds to capture the imagination of anyone looking at your profile, so make your headline or first paragraph intriguing and different.
Write a slogan that is confident and positive, which provokes a reader's curiosity and reflects your personality, try something like: "Credit card owner requires compulsive shopper", or "vintage sports car seeks loving new owner"
Talk about what you are passionate about, you don't like travel, you love it. Be specific about the details. Women like passion in a man, even if it is passion for his football team.
Finish on something controversial, like, ‘I'm looking for someone who loves marmite', it will get you loads more responses. -
Be optimistic, and leave out any baggage from past relationships - negativity can give a really bad first impression.
Be honest about your height and weight, otherwise they are just going to get a shock in person.
TOP TIP: If you're stuck, get a friend to write it for you! They will be able to be honest about you, without being humble or arrogant. Alternatively, get a member of the opposite sex to write it - they will know how to sell you to your target market!
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Step 5:
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Putting up a photo
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Each dating site has different rules for photos, like no nudity, no extreme close-ups or blurry images, no photos of other people; it's vital to check the rules of your site before posting a picture, as otherwise it may be deleted.
Find a photo of yourself that is not misleading or out-of-date, a clear and simple photo, looking happy and natural will send the right message.
Unless you're prepared for a lot of sleazy attention, don't make your photo too sexually provocative.
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Step 6:
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Making contact
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Now your profile is fully set up, it's time to make some contacts. Have a browse around the site, looking at a range of people. The choice can be a little overwhelming, so be discerning and keep your options open.
When you come across someone that sounds interesting, send them a short message to initiate contact.
In general, men do not get any messages from women. It is important for men to do the chasing.
But that doesn't mean that you girls have to sit back and wait! Most sites have a facility that allows you to "wink" or show interest in profiles to let a potential date know that you like what you see.
TOP TIP: Not getting any responses? Don't panic! Rejection online is completely normal. It's common to only get a response to two out of every ten emails you send. Rejig your profile and see if you can make it stand out more from the crowd.
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Step 7:
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Following things up
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So, you like their profile and they have replied back. If you feel comfortable doing so, you now need to follow things up and take it further.
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Protect your anonymity by getting a new email address from a free email service such as Google, Yahoo or Hotmail.
You can also buy a pay as you go mobile phone just for internet dating. This means you can contact your potential dates, without giving out your personal number. -
Ask them on a date after 2 or 3 emails.
Someone whose profile looks great can be a real dud in the flesh, so meet them fast!
Arrange to meet somewhere in daytime in public for a coffee or lunch. Keep the meeting short but sweet and leave them wanting more. -
Congratulations! You've braved the web and are ready to reel them in.
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