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How To Talk Dirty

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Ratings: 195 | Views: 170481  | Added: Nov 04, 2007
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Step 1:

Be inquisitive

If you don't know what to say, try asking sexy questions.
Ask
'shall I pull your macro lever towards my mount?'
or
'do you like it when my lens hood is locked for shipping?'
This is a great way to include your partner in the dirty talk, as asking questions will draw them into a conversation.
Step 2:

Be commanding

Another way of talking dirty is to take control and issue instructions firmly. This is a great way of dominating, and getting your partner to do exactly what you tell them.
Try ordering your partner to:

'Rotate my mount clamp ring'
or
'Take my rear lens cap off'
or
'Tighten my locking knob clockwise'.
Step 3:

Be descriptive

A gentler way to talk dirty is to talk about how something makes you feel. Use phrases such as:

'It feels so great when you oil my lens main body'
Or
'I love the way you polish my fulcrum with your deep focal length '
Or even:
'Wow! I can't get enough of your tight-fitted wide-angle adaptor'

And don't forget, if you're enjoying yourself, say so. Your partner will be flattered, and you'll probably end up getting more of what you want.
Step 4:

Be adult

Remember, dirty talk is for grown-ups. Cute, cuddly comments like:

"I love your ickle-wickle 8-millimetre attachment'

are not for now.
They will make you sound childish and inexperienced when you should be using words that you can say with passion and conviction.
Step 5:

Be rude

Once you start getting into it, show you really mean what you say by adding a few old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon expletives that you won't find in any manual
As long as you don't cause offence, relax and feel free to experiment. And remember, while using the odd dirty word can be sexy, it's actually more about how you say it rather than what you say.
Also known as:
  • How Do I Talk Dirty

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1 out of 1 person found this comment helpful postman_666  (4 days ago)

*gulp* more examples plz

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1 out of 1 person found this comment helpful 22392jimmy  (6 days ago)

HAHAHAHAHA

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2 out of 3 people found this comment helpful chickamarie  (12 days ago)

this is sooooooo funny

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1 out of 3 people found this comment helpful LO87  (13 days ago)

LMAO...this is so bad ...

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2 out of 4 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (34 days ago)

lmao!!!!

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4 out of 6 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (36 days ago)

Can someone tell me some dirty talk? I need help.

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2 out of 4 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (36 days ago)

Can we have more examples?

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4 out of 5 people found this comment helpful evansorodds  (39 days ago)

"take my lens head off..." WTF?

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1 out of 6 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (41 days ago)

so they are encouraging swearing

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5 out of 7 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (50 days ago)

Lmaoo!!! them euphumisms or watever were proper funny! ha!

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1 out of 1 person found this comment helpful Anonymous  (52 days ago)

I MEAN GN GOOOD

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2 out of 25 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (52 days ago)

IM 13 WHILE I WAS 12 I WENT OUT WITH 7 BOYZ AND DONE DIRTY TALKING SO NOT JUST ADULTS TALK RUDE, BUT NOW IM GNA GOD

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4 out of 5 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (59 days ago)

LMAO! is it me or is this TOO funny!

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4 out of 4 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (62 days ago)

LMAO. this is hilariouss.

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2 out of 2 people found this comment helpful Cookies  (62 days ago)

lol

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