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How To Tell If Someone Is Gay Or Straight

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How To Tell If Someone Is Gay Or Straight

Homosexuality is now much more out in the open than ever before, but it can still be difficult to tell if someone is gay or straight. Our film will teach you some handy techniques for honing your 'gaydar'.


Step 1:

Why do you want to know?

You may be interested in finding out someone's sexuality because you are attracted to them. Finding out whether someone likes men or women before trying to chat them up will help you avoid potential embarrassment! If you are gay yourself you may also want to find out if someone is accepting of homosexuality and would be supportive if you came out to them.

Step 2:

Don't make assumptions

One can't always tell who is gay by the way they dress, walk, talk etc as these simplistic assumptions play into stereotypes. There are after all, camp straight men with fabulous dress sense and there are blokey gay guys who douse themselves in Lynx and think farting is funny!
Gay men and lesbians are increasingly becoming involved in parenting - either from former straight relationships or through AID or informal arrangements and so their mentioning kids may not mean they are straight.

Step 3:

Using conversation to find out

Lesbians and gay men are often more cautious in revealing personal information, they may not use a pronoun for a partner, they may be more vague about what they do with their time. This self-censoring is a way of protecting themselves from possible rejection and anti-gay abuse/discrimination.
Ask questions like:
What did you do at the weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend?
I've been trying to find a good pub/club to go out to. Do you have any recommendations?
Do you live alone?
Do you have a partner? What do they do for a living?
What did you get up to last night? And the ever so reliable - "Do you like men, women or both?"

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Anonymous  (4 days ago)

Ask them if they dream of old friends. Should frame your question in an indirect fashion though.

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1 out of 1 person found this comment helpful Anonymous  (32 days ago)

Not sure if others have had a similar experience, but I've found that a reliable indicator can be someone's 'nature' - not their voice as such, but their style of speaking (does the person seem fairly soft, gentle, etc). A music teacher once came out to me at school, and, as I found out when I caught up with him again by chance a few years later, he always thought I was gay (and he was right, too). I asked him what the biggest factor was that made him think so, and he said a 'gentle nature'. And on seeing others, I think I'd agree that it's not only voice, mannerisms, style of walking, level of extraversion (eg. I'm actually very shy), and other superficial factors, but also just someone's 'nature' which can give you a clue!

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coranglais  (42 days ago)

i'm going to be so sad if this doesn't work.

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0 out of 1 person found this comment helpful Anonymous  (56 days ago)

what about guys that wear pink and purple and seem to like looking at u but seems to react positivly when others talk bout their gf;s or when asked bout his gf, i don t htink hes got one but im not sure. i m thinking hes gay or bi. he also does the big belt thing to and the tucking the shirt in soemtiems. but doesnt reall talk gay. also wat about ones that maybe dress punk gothy but apparently though they have a gf are very open to anyone mostly and mentiones erotic stuff and ya nevermindi dont think i need to ask bout that friend me and a few freidns have figured out he must be bi but wat about the pink and purple wearing ffreind lol

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Anonymous  (63 days ago)

lol,

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2 out of 4 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (81 days ago)

I think if someone ask people such personal questions are rude. Just tell them to f**k off

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Anonymous  (88 days ago)

Well, there are several ways to know since there are, in a very broad term, two extremes in which a gay person can settle: one is being the evidently gay person, generally bottoms (not always, though), and the other is being a very masculine gay person and hating the "evidently" gay people. Approach a masculine gay guy with these kind of questions and you'll probably be laughed at, since they're (generally) very insecure about their sexuality. Sometimes it's really easy to tell, sometimes it's not. An easy way to tell is for you to talk about "the" homosexuals with him and see his position and reaction. Perhaps mention if he likes Freddie Mercury's talent or the way Elton John works. If he says he hates gay people it's probably because he doesn't like them. Or maybe because he's too afraid to admit it (and generally, these kinds of people will only be within a certain age range, like 0-20).

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Anonymous  (89 days ago)

that was like what they said not to do in the begining

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Anonymous  (92 days ago)

so to sum up the video. ASK THEM!

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Anonymous  (95 days ago)

This video won't effing load!

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0 out of 2 people found this comment helpful Anonymous  (97 days ago)

lol.. the hell.. that is so stupid *british accent* Yees, sow i've been lookin foa a bah to go to.. any suggestions? lol..

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hihihoho  (101 days ago)

the title suggests the answer will be given... it doesn't

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1 out of 1 person found this comment helpful Anonymous  (118 days ago)

You can't always know if someone is gay or not without asking them directly. But you should be able to read people well enough to tell if someone is physically attracted to you or not. Especially if you work with them a lot, if they compliment you or blush when you talk to them and that sort of thing. Best bet though is in the workplace just make friends first. Go to lunch, get to know them. If they like you they'll open up about it.

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0 out of 2 people found this comment helpful satyricon  (120 days ago)

wow... how completely useless

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1 out of 1 person found this comment helpful Anonymous  (138 days ago)

Looks like there isnt enough work to do in that office. That gay guy doesnt seem to have any much to do except flirt with all the guys around the place. Anyway, asking such questions at the workplace is asking for trouble. One's private sexual orientation should probably not be a discussable matter at work. ( As Billie Holiday said..Aint no body's business if I do.) Why not ask the other person out for a drink in neutral territory?

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