How To Tell Your Friend Their Partner Is Cheating On Them

Step 1: Be sure you're right

Before you do anything, you have to be absolutely certain that you are right.

This is no time for rumours or assumptions - you need incontrovertible evidence, preferably with your own eyes.

Even then you need to make sure you're not jumping to conclusions. Could the other girl be his sister?

Step 2: Check your motives

Make sure that you truly have your friend's best interests at heart.

Be honest with yourself. Are you secretly envious of her relationship?

Do you privately dislike her partner?

Would you love to be able to say "I told you so"?

If you have any questionable motives, you should double check your facts to make sure you're not unduly biased. If you're certain you're only interested in your friend's wellbeing, then proceed - but with caution.

Step 3: Choose your time

Find a time when the two of you can be alone.

Don't break the news in public as it could be an emotional event and therefore embarrassing for your friend.

Brace yourself - as the bearer of bad news you are likely to come under fire yourself. Don't take this personally.

Step 4: Be gentle

Deliver the news gently. This is going to be painful for your friend. Tell her only what you have seen, not what you suspect. You must deliver the information without making judgements or offering opinions.

She won't want to believe you, so don't be surprised if she reacts angrily.

Don't rise to an argument but remain calm. Put your own feelings to one side for now. Suggest that she talks to her partner directly.

Step 5: Stand back

By telling your friend what you know, you have put the ball in her court. Don't press the point any further or pressure her into action.

It's up to her and her partner to resolve the situation. Your role now is to support her as a friend whatever the outcome.