How To Undress A Woman With Your Teeth

Step 1: Work out if it's possible

Work out if you are going to be able to do remove the garments in question with your teeth, if it's too big a project give up before you begin.

Dim the lights, light some candles, put on some dreamy romantic music.

Step 2: Don't break anything

The one thing that will end this experiment straight away is if you damage any of her favourite clothing. Be careful- no ripping, no wrecking, no slobbering.

Step 3: Know your limits

However dextrous your tongue is, you must accept that some items cannot be removed orally. When it comes to earrings and shoes, don't even try- just get her to give you a helping hand

Step 4: Access points

The clothes are your enemy, you need to find their weak spots. Appraise the garment to be removed, and work out how best to get it off. Does it slide off? do I need to gently bite it? Shoulder straps are easy, but you should be careful of the dental floss effect when removing thongs.

Sometimes clothes fight back. Be careful with elasticized clothing, or anything with a hook on it. No love play is worth losing an eye over.

Step 5: Don't bottle it

If you find out that you have bitten off more than you can chew, then don't run off in disgrace- just go back to your patented fumbling by hand. And keep smiling.