Myth: Women Don't Masturbate
How many women really masturbate? The numbers might surprise you. Dr. June shares data about female masturbation. For more information on love and health, or to read a full transcript of this video, visit http://www.loveandhealth.info
Step 1: The Myth
Well I’m back again to bust another myth. And today we’re going to bust the myth that women don’t masturbate. And although I’m sure most of you out there think you know that women masturbate, you’d be surprised how many women - and men - believe that only a few women masturbate, and that’s just not true. And I think more women would masturbate if they realized how good it was for them, which is some of the things
I’m going to talk about today about how many women actually do masturbate. Let me tell you that, depending on the study, studies show that between 45 and 80 percent of women have masturbated - American women - have masturbated sometime during their lives.
Step 2: Masturbating In Women
Now here’s an interesting fact that really very few people know. Sixty percent of women who do masturbate report that they invented masturbation for themselves; that is, nobody taught them about it, they didn’t read about it, they just learned about it themselves.
And many women start masturbating, when they do, if they are masturbators, they masturbate much earlier than men do.
Step 3: The Benefits Of Masturbation
Actually, research demonstrates, in terms of women, that those who are orgasmic - it really demonstrates that among orgasmic women those who masturbate to orgasm report having more orgasms than women who don’t masturbate who are orgasmic; they have greater sexual desire, report greater sexual desire than women who don’t masturbate, who are orgasmic - so we’re talking about women now who do have the ability to orgasm; they have higher self-esteem than the ones who don’t masturbate; they report greater marital and sexual satisfaction than women that don’t masturbate; and they require less time to become aroused than women who don’t masturbate.
Finally, more women who masturbate are multiply orgasmic, or at least they report being multiply orgasmic, than those who don’t masturbate. So, that’s rather good.
Step 4: Improving Relations With Your Partner
And it also shouldn’t be too surprising, because the better that you know your body, and how it works, and what feels good to you and what makes you feel good, obviously the better you’re going to be able to explain to your partner what feels good, to you’re your partner what feels good, and to help that person make you feel good when you’re together.
You know, a female’s body is not quite as obvious as a male’s body. In a male’s body everything hangs out there, and it’s rather obvious what’s good.
So I must say that partners that have a good sex life are more able to indicate to each other, either in words or in actions, what feels good, and what they like and what they don’t like. And partners who can communicate that kind of information to each other tend to have better sex lives. That makes obvious sense, doesn’t it? But you’d be surprised how many people don’t do that to each other. They aren’t able to communicate with each other and it’s harder and harder for them, obviously, to have a good and satisfying sex life. Certainly harder to figure out how to get your partner to enjoy themselves and, for a man, harder to understand his woman if they can’t communicate about these things. And stimulating a woman to orgasm is a little bit more of a complicated task than it is for a man.
Step 5: Directed Masturbation
Now if a woman has never had an orgasm, it turns out you can teach her to do that, most women can be taught to do that. And teaching a woman to masturbate to orgasm is one way to help her, and to help those who never had an orgasm, to become orgasmic, not just during masturbation but also with her partner.
There’s a technique called directed masturbation, which is a technique that’s part cognitive behavioural sex therapy, that has been shown to be very successful for more than 80 percent of women who have never had an orgasm, and it helps them to be able to experience orgasm first from masturbation, and then it’s successful in 20 to 60 percent of those women to be able to have orgasm with their partners. So that’s something, if you’re a person, or if you have a partner who is not orgasmic, that you can suggest as a possibility.
Now it also can be done by reading books about that, and we’ll put some on the website so that you’ll know where to go, because sometimes people can learn from reading books and practicing, using a vibrator, or if you have a partner who is ready to help you, that partner can be part of that home therapy, and you can get that done at home.
Step 6: Masturbation For Couples
Most women, if they learn to have an orgasm, report all kinds of good things that go on with that. It seems they have an increase, obviously, in their enjoyment and satisfaction in intercourse, even if they don’t have orgasm in intercourse with their partners. They feel more relaxed about their sex life, but not just their sex life, but their life in general.
And they have an increased acceptance of their bodies, well of course, when you feel better about your body you enjoy sex more, because your body’s a very important part of sexuality.
There’s a world expert named Betty Dodson, whose great life job is helping women to enjoy their bodies more and to enjoy sexual response more, and she teaches in her books about masturbation, not just for women, but for couples. And so she has some books that we’ll put their names and titles and so forth on the website for you.
Step 7: Orgasming During Intercourse
Let’s keep in mind that studies show however that only 25 to 50 percent of women have orgasm from intercourse alone, from thrusting alone. So, it should not be surprising, that, in fact, the majority of women do not, I repeat, do not have orgasms from just the penis going in and out of the vagina. That’s not normal, if you mean by normal “average.”
The average woman does not have orgasm from intercourse alone and even ones that do, very rarely have it regularly from intercourse alone. So you need to add other kinds of stimulation, either by hand or mouth, right up to the point of intercourse, or during intercourse with the hand or vibrator if you want to have, for some reason, you desire to have orgasm during intercourse.
Step 8: Masturbation For The Post-Menopausal
Research shows that masturbation for women is also very healthy. I know it’s against everything that you’ve heard up to this point, for most of you, but it is true.
There are studies that show that post-menopausal women, that is, women after they’ve stopped having their period, if they don’t have a regular partner with whom they have regular sex with orgasm, that masturbation to orgasm – listen to this! – will promote the health of their urinary tract and their genital tract, and it’ll keep them sexually able to be responsive and healthy, so in case they get a new partner, they will be able to have good healthy enjoyable sex. How do you like that?
So it’ll keep them sexually able and ready for the next partner to come along. And if you think that old people don’t fall in love, take my word for it. I wrote a column for ten years and I got lots of letters from people in their 70s, 80s and 90s who were falling in love and having sex very late in life.
By the way, a last comment here, this is true for men too – so if you are a man, and if you don’t have a partner, and you’re getting older it’s important to keep your sex organs working and your orgasm coming and coming, so that, should you find a new partner, it will work for you when that person comes. Because it’s actually true that if you don’t use it, you lose it.
